What Matters Most is How Well You Walk Through the Fire

by Charles Bukowski

true revolution comes from true revulsion; when things get bad enough the kitten will kill the lion.

I liked being young and mean. the world didn’t make any sense to me.

there was nothing to do, it was 1939 and it would never be 1939 again in Los Angeles or any place else and I was young and mean and lean and I would never be that way again as it rushed toward us.

I just feel better and it’s good to feel better whenever you can not needing a reason.

I wish to weep but sorrow is stupid. I wish to believe but belief is a graveyard.

things are so easily lost. things just can’t be kept forever. I got the blues. I got the blues. that dog loved and trusted me and I let it walk away.

each night counts for something or else we’d all go mad.

but writing’s one thing, life’s another, we seem to have improved the writing a bit but life (ours and theirs) doesn’t seem to be improving very much.

we all go on with our things. we all go on with our lives. we all write badly at times or live badly at times. we all have bad days and nights.

to ignore Christmas takes a special wisdom but Happy New Year to you all.

am I the only one who lives like this?

some say I love my pain. yes, I love it so much I’d like to give it to you wrapped in a red ribbon wrapped in a bloody red ribbon you can have it you can have it all. I’ll never miss it.

again and again young men write me the same letter: “I can’t write, but I want to write. I read your stuff and I want to write just like you. can you please tell me something that will help?” all around me the hills are on fire, floodwaters run through here swarming with rats. the streets roar and yawn to swallow me. I’m choking and can’t breathe. they want to write? like me? what do they mean? what’s writing? I only want to go to bed close my eyes and sleep forever.

one collapses and surrenders not out of choice or lack of intelligence or bad teeth or bad diet one surrenders because that’s the BEST MOVIE around.

we park outside and look at the icecream people a very healthy and satisfied people, nary a potential suicide in sight (they probably even vote)

I know him because somebody I know knows him. you know how that goes: I really don’t know him.