Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

by Lundy Bancroft

If your partner criticizes or puts you down for being badly affected by his mistreatment, that’s abuse. Similarly, it’s abuse when he uses the effects of his cruelty as an excuse, like a client I had who drove his partner away with his verbal assaults and then told her that her emotional distancing was causing his abuse, thus reversing cause and effect. He is kicking you when you’re already down, and he knows it. Seek help for yourself quickly as this kind of psychological assault can cause your emotional state to rapidly decline.

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