Similar kinds of errors abound in the work of many individual and couples therapists. I’ve had couples counselors say to me, for example: “He just isn’t the type to be abusive; he’s so pleasant and insightful, and she’s so angry.” Women speak to me with shocked voices of betrayal as they tell me how their couples therapist, or the abuser’s individual therapist, or a therapist for one of their children, has become a vocal advocate for him and a harsh and superior critic of her. I have saved for years a letter
Again - not my experience. The minute one of his counselors talked to me or any couples counselors saw the two of us, they got it and started using the word “abuse” even when I never said it
