Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

by Lundy Bancroft

He thinks it’s ok to act that way

He was hammering her with whatever put-downs he could think of in order to bully her into going (and was having some success in getting her to doubt herself).

Are you afraid of him?

Yet on a deeper level the abuser seems to realize how hard his partner works, because he fights like hell not to have to share that burden.

He is likely to continue his usual tendency to consider his own judgment superior to his partner’s and to be selfishly focused on how any changes will affect him, rather than on what works best for the family as a whole.