Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

by Lundy Bancroft

WHEN THE POLICE go to a home on a domestic-abuse call, the woman sometimes scrambles to cover for her abusive partner. Consider her position: She knows that in a few minutes the police will leave her house and she will remain there alone, either with the abuser or without him. If the police do arrest him, it is only a matter of time until he is released—and angrier than ever. She calculates that her safest position is beside her partner; if she teams up with him, he might not rip her to pieces when the police car disappears up the street. Even if she called for help herself, she wasn’t necessarily looking for an arrest; most women call to get a scary experience to stop. They want the police to calm the man down and typically would like him removed from the home for the night.