Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

by Lundy Bancroft

The abuser ends up with the benefits of being in an intimate relationship without the sacrifices that normally come with the territory....

During the hours he spends talking about himself he is relieved of the work of listening.

Studies have shown that a majority of women feel that their male partners don’t contribute fairly to household responsibilities. However, a woman whose partner is not abusive at least has the option to put her foot down about her workload and insist that the man pick up the slack. With an abusive man, however, if you put your foot down he either ignores you or makes you pay. The abuser comes and goes as he pleases, meets or ignores his responsibilities at his whim, and skips anything he finds too unpleasant.