The verbally abusive man who escalates to physical violence or threats only when intoxicated: When I ask the partner of such a man to describe his day-to-day behavior, she usually reports that he gets meaner and scarier when he’s drinking but that his name-calling, disrespect, and selfishness are the same, whether he is drunk or sober. She tends to feel that his physically scary behaviors would stop if she could get him into recovery and that she could manage
