An abuser often tries to use the promise of change to cut deals, since he believes that his partner’s behaviors are just as wrong as his: “I’ll agree not to call you ‘bitch’ anymore if you don’t bug me to help clean up the children’s mess when I’m trying to watch the game. I won’t call you ‘slut’ or ‘whore’ if you give up talking to your male friends. I won’t push you up against the wall if you drop your side of an argument whenever you see that I’m really upset.” To him, these seem like fair deals, but in reality they require a woman to sacrifice her rights and freedom in return for not being
...more
