So You Don't Want to Go to Church Anymore: An Unexpected Journey

by Wayne Jacobsen

you look at what you’ve ended up with, then you’ll know what you’ve really been seeking!”

It’s that you’re trying to earn a relationship you’ll never earn. Men and women might give you acclaim for memorizing Scriptures or attending services, but those are never going to be enough to earn a relationship. Besides, you’re pursuing them not because you want to know God, but because you want people to think that you’re spiritual. And you know what? That is what you’re getting out of it.”

“That really isn’t the issue, is it, Jake? I’m talking about your relationship with the living God, not fixing this institution. Sure, it would make for a drastic change. Instead of putting on a show, we would gather to celebrate his work in the lives of his people. Instead of figuring out how we can get people to act more ‘Christian,’ we would help people get to know Jesus better and let him change them from the inside out. It would revolutionize the life of the church and the lives of its people. But it doesn’t begin there,” he said, motioning toward the sanctuary doors, “but here,” and he tapped himself on the chest.

“Accountability is not for those who struggle, Jake. It’s for those who succeed.” “But aren’t we accountable to one another?” “Where did you get that idea?” “It’s in the Bible, isn’t it?” “Can you show me where?” John reached down and pulled a Bible off the booth seat next to him and tossed it on the table.

All the accountability in Scripture is linked to God, not to other brothers and sisters. When we hold one another accountable, we are really usurping God’s place. It’s why we end up hurting one another so deeply.”

“That’s the worst part of religious thinking. It takes our best ambitions and uses them against us. People who are trying to be more godly actually become more captive to their appetites and desires. That’s exactly what happened to Eve. She just wanted to be like God, which is also exactly what God wants for us. It wasn’t what she wanted that got her in trouble, but that she relied on her own strength to get her there.

“Jake, when are you going to get past the mistaken notion that Christianity is about ethics?”

“How else are we going to know how God feels about us if we don’t live up to his standards?” “That’s where you have it backward, Jake. We don’t get his love by living up to his standards. We find his love in the most broken places of our lives. As we let him love us there and discover how to love him in return,

Every act of sin results from your mistrust of his love and intentions for you. We sin to fill up broken places, to try to fight for what we think is best for us, or to react to our guilt and shame. Once you discover how much he loves you, all that changes. As you grow in trusting him, you will find yourself increasingly free from sin.”

couldn’t believe how blind I’d been to all the ways we’d manipulated one another. No wonder I’m exhausted all the time! I’m trying to meet other people’s expectations at the same time I’m trying to manipulate them to meet mine.

Laurie and I attended a few different congregations on Sundays because we felt we should, but our hearts weren’t in it, now that we knew what was behind the smoke and mirrors.

Suffering often indicates that God is setting us free from something so that we can follow and embrace him more deeply.

But you make it even harder on yourself when you think God is against you! What if you knew he was right in this with you, leading you to the life you’ve begged him for?”

“Just remember he’s not worried about tomorrow because he has already worked that out. He’s inviting you to live with him in the joy of the moment, responding to what he puts right before you. The freedom to simply follow him that way will transform so many areas of your life. He loves you, Jake, and he wants you to live in the security of that, without having to figure everything out.”

Inviting Joy Responding Freedom Transform

“Don’t think God was only a distant spectator that day. He was in Christ reconciling the world to himself. This is something they did together. This was not some sacrifice God required in order to be able to love us, but a sacrifice God himself provided for what we needed. He leaped in front of a stampeding horse and pushed us to safety. He was crushed by the weight of our sin so that we could be rescued from it. It’s an incredible story.”

Yes!!!

“It’s not?” “I feel sick when people I thought were my friends turn away, pretending not to see me. But that’s at least more honest than those who stab me in the back, then rush up to me in public with hugs and smiles, pretending nothing ever happened. I ran into my old pastor the other day at a wedding. He ran up and hugged me, pretended we were the best of friends, all the while looking around to make sure others were noticing how loving he was. I wanted to push him away, but I knew how unloving I would have looked.”

Ugh! Ick.

“It’s a lot easier for you to get out of the system than it is to get the system out of you. You can play it from inside and out. The approval you felt then came from the same source as the shame you feel now. That’s why it hurts so much when you hear the rumors or watch old friends turn away embarrassed. Truth be told, some of those people still really care about you. They just don’t know how to show it now that you no longer play on their team. They’re not bad people, Jake, just brothers and sisters lost in something that is not as godly as they think it is.”

“Institutionalism breeds task-based friendships. As long as you’re on the same task together, you can be friends. When you’re not, people tend to treat you like damaged goods. Now you know what that’s like from the other side, and one of the big things Jesus is doing in you now is to free you from the game. Then you can live deeply in him rather than worry about what everyone else thinks about you.”

Task-based friendships; yes, Iam guilty of perpetrating this and have been the recipient of it. No more.

right now just know that your need to convince others how right you are is your need. It’s not God’s.

Amen!

Actually, this is going to be a bit of a process.

sating

Slaking

You’re still talking like you’re a competitor with other brothers and sisters. You can’t love what you’re competing against, and if you’re keeping score, you can be sure, you’re competing.”

Take note, SummerLee, take note.

Think less about ‘starting’ something than just learning to share your life in God with others on a similar journey. Don’t feed off your need to be more right than others, and then you’ll know more clearly what he is doing in you.”

“Who cares how it sounded? It only matters what is.”

“Any human system will eventually dehumanize the very people it seeks to serve, and those it dehumanizes the most are those who think they lead it. But not everyone in a system is given over to the priorities of that system. Many walk inside it without being given over to it. They live in Father’s life and graciously help others as he gives them opportunity.”

Learning to live by trusting Father is the most difficult part of this journey. So much of what we do is driven by our anxiety that God is not working on our behalf, that we have no idea of the actions that trust produces. Trusting doesn’t make you a couch potato. As you follow him, Jake, you’ll find yourself doing more than you’ve ever done, but it won’t be the frantic activity of a desperate person, it will be the simple obedience of a loved child. That’s all Father desires.”

“This isn’t all about you, Jake. Don’t protect yourself at someone else’s expense. You’ll rob Jesus of an opportunity to do something amazing in you both.”

Amen! This is the same thing You've taught me,Abba.

long as we think of this life in Christ as knowledge to acquire instead of living in him, we’ll do all kinds of foolish things.

But just because people say something doesn’t make it so. Jesus is teaching you how to live free. Others will find that threatening, as you will yourself at times. The system must devour what it cannot control.”

the more organization you bring to church life, the less life it will contain.”

Who is he asking you to walk alongside right now and how can you encourage them? I love it when brothers and sisters choose to be intentional in sharing God’s life together in a particular season. So, yes, experiment with community together. You’ll learn a lot. Just avoid the desire to make it contrived, exclusive, or permanent. Relationships don’t work that way.

People who are growing in their relationship with Father will hunger for real connections with his family. He is the God of community. That’s his nature, and knowing him draws us into that community, not only with God himself, but also with others who know him. It is not our obligation. It’s his gift.”

Yes! Yes! Yes!

“I have a friend in Georgia who just can’t find anyone who wants this kind of life together,” Marvin said. “Father knows that, too! Certainly there are others near him with a similar hunger, but if Father hasn’t made those connections yet, your friend can rest in that. It’s much easier for us to find it when we live contentedly in God’s provision rather than being anxious for what we don’t see. Encourage him to enjoy what Father is doing each day while keeping his eyes open for others. You never know how or when God will make connections.”

Hear this, SummerLee.

“What I’m saying is that following him, as he makes himself clear to you, is your responsibility. Providing for you is his. You’ll be better off if you don’t get the two mixed up.”

The church thrives where people are focused on Jesus, not where they are focused on church.

“Then ask Jesus,” John responded. “I could answer questions all day and it wouldn’t make a difference. This life can’t be neatly sewn up in the intellect. It must be uncovered in the journey. He’ll make things clear to you as you need them.”

“And rob you of the chance to hear him breathe his will into your own heart?”