in another version of reality, she wanted them to spend fall break in France with her classmates, sipping cappuccinos and debating which Gilded Age writer was superior. She should tell him that she wanted them to have gray hair and laugh lines and all the quiet moments that came between. She should tell him that even though she was never supposed to know him, knowing him made her a better version of herself. An Este who wasn’t afraid of the dark crevices of her heart. An Este who learned it was possible to hurt and hope at the same time.
