The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents (Discworld, #28)

by Terry Pratchett

She obviously thought that it was no good looking inconspicuous unless people could see that you were being inconspicuous. People in the street actually stopped to watch her as she sidled along walls and scuttled from one doorway to another. Maurice and Keith strolled along after her. No one paid them any attention.

Maurice watched them argue again. Humans, eh? Think they’re lords of creation. Not like us cats. We know we are. Ever see a cat feed a human? Case proven.

He wasn’t exactly lost, because cats never get lost. He merely didn’t know where everything else was.

It’s the Bone Rat, thought Maurice. It’s the Grim Squeaker. He’s come for Dangerous Beans.

“Maurice, this isn’t right,” said Dangerous Beans. “Surely it is better to appeal to the common bond between intelligent species than—” “I don’t know about intelligent species. We’re dealing with humans here,” said Maurice. “Do you know about wars? Very popular with humans. They fight other humans. Not hugely big on common bonding.”

“Talk to the paw, mister, ’cos the whiskers don’t want to know!”