All I Want Is Everything (Gossip Girl, #3)

by Cecily von Ziegesar

Chuck Bass came up behind Blair and put his big, warm hands on her bare, tennis-toned shoulders.

the fuck does this even mean

He had tried to molest Serena when she was passed out drunk in his family’s Tribeca Star Hotel suite in October, and he had almost gotten little Jenny Humphrey to take her dress off for him in the ladies’ room at the Kiss on the Lips party that same week. Chuck was the worst sort of slimeball, but they all still put up with him, because he was one of them:

oh!

Jenny kept taking mental Polaroids so she could paint a brand-new portrait of him in the morning to add to her collection.

...stalker?

He wanted to grab Blair’s arm and say, “Come back here. I made a mistake.” But then Jenny squeezed his hand, and he looked down into her soulful brown eyes and deeply plunging cleavage and instantly forgot about Blair again.

I can't decide if this is funny or sad

He wanted to have five children and name them after his favorite writers: Kafka, Goethe, Sartre, Camus, and Keats.

Dan is so gross

Jenny still looked about ten years old.

wow.

He’d even tried to molest Dan’s little sister, Jenny, in a bathroom stall at a party last month.

the same ten year old

Then he wrote the first line: You are my Frankenstein. Oh, dear. Do we even want to know what the second line was?

NOOOOO

Jenny opened the refrigerator, reached for a container of Dannon coffee yogurt, and then withdrew her hand and slammed the door closed again. The last thing she wanted was to get fat before she saw Nate again.

oh my gosh I can't believe this book is marketed to teenagers