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My name is Jake Tully, and I’m an addict.
“Holy fuck. You can smile.”
A laugh bursts out of my mouth, and I swear to God, you’d think I just made Felix’s day. He looks so proud to hear it.
I’ll always make sure you’re okay. We’ll get you to seven years again. I know we will.”
I watch as he looks straight ahead. I think he’s still smiling. And I’m a little bummed I can’t see it.
I want him to know it doesn’t really bother me, I’m just curious about his reason. I want to tell him it hasn’t always been exclusively girls for me.
“There’s nothing wrong with your hair, Felix. It’s cute. Okay?”
“Cute?” he asks.
“Did you just say my hair is cute, Jake?”
“So. Feeling any sort of way right now?”
“I want a new sponsor.”
“No, you don’t. You want to touch my hair.”
“That’s...
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“I don’t know. I think you do, Jake.”
“You know what’s really lame about being in recovery?”
“You can’t blame shit you say on alcohol or drugs. There’s noth...
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“I k...
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“Isn’t it so great?”
can I drive us tonight? please? my car stopped smelling like u and it sucks so much :(
“He always does cute shit like that. Okay. Let me tell him where we are.”
“Jake.”
“Mm?”
“Can you say it? Please?”
“He touched you. Nobody touches you.”
“I can’t believe you’re into me.”
“The only reason I haven’t fucked you yet is because you’re my sponsor.”
“We’d be so good together. I just know we would.”
“Everything is stacked against us,” I say. “We’d be a tragedy, Felix. This wouldn’t work.”
“You don’t agree?”
“No. I agree.” He steps closer and presses one (last) kiss to my mouth. “I just know that wouldn’t stop me.”
See anything you like?”
“Yeah.”
I turn my head when he doesn’t answer and holy fuck, he’s looking right at me and...
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And if holding your hand like you’re my boyfriend wasn’t a hint; I’ll spell it out for you—I want you to be my boyfriend.”
“I’m sick of rules, Felix. It sucks trying to stay sober when you can’t even fuck who you want to fuck.”
“More romance please. I’m not an object.”
“I’m getting to the roman...
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His cheeks burn i...
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“Was it the baby?” I tease, running my nose along his. “...
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“Yeah. It wa...
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“So be my boyfriend, and I’ll call you that...
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“You’re welcome.” His smile is bigger. “Now you’ll always think of me.”
“I already do that.”
“None of this was your fault, Jake.”
“Baby. It’s okay.”
He sniffles and pulls away from me before I can haul him close, and I watch him move around the car and climb in. Our eyes never meet.
My poor baby. Ily Jake you are worth it <3
“You’re sweet, Jake.”
“No, I’m not. I just really like you.”
“I’m so in love with you. Holy fuck.”
“You make me feel better than any drug I’ve ever taken.”
