The Tragedy of Felix and Jake

by J. Daniels

I was twenty-eight when I found out that I’ll never beat it. My name is Jake Tully, and I’m an addict.

can I drive us tonight? please? my car stopped smelling like u and it sucks so much :(

“Everything is stacked against us,” I say. “We’d be a tragedy, Felix. This wouldn’t work.” His smile is confusing. “You don’t agree?” I ask, and how fucked up is it that I actually hope he doesn’t. “No. I agree.” He steps closer and presses one (last) kiss to my mouth. “I just know that wouldn’t stop me.”

Because no one has ever looked at me the way Jake looks at me. Moms don’t count. It’s that I’m so happy you exist look.

“Because I’ve waited my whole life for you. And for this. Us.” I squeeze his hands. “You’re my fucking family, Jake, and we’ll fight this. Together.”

Today, I am eight hundred and twenty-seven days sober. My name is Jake Tully and I’m an addict. And I’ll always be an addict. I’ll never beat this. But I’ll keep going to meetings, and I’ll talk to my sponsor (who I’m going to ask to marry me), and I’ll fight this until I win. We are going to win.