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It was not Buckkeep itself or city life that I pined for, but my childhood days and the friends I had known.
Sometimes I think there is more rest in that place between wakefulness and sleep than there is in true sleep. The mind walks in the twilight of both states, and finds the truths that are hidden alike by daylight and dreams. Things we are not ready to know abide in that place, awaiting that unguarded frame of mind.
Silence can ask all the questions, where the tongue is prone to ask only the wrong one.
The man who becomes most efficiently vicious first is most likely to be the man left standing. I had learned to be that man.
“It doesn’t matter who a man’s father is. Your parents made a child, but it’s up to you to make the man you’ll be.”
He flung his arms around my neck. He hugged me fiercely, Burrich’s earring pressing cold against my neck. For a long instant, he clung to me like a woman, until the wolf insistently thrust himself between us. Then the Fool went down on one knee in the dust, careless of his fine clothes as he clasped the wolf about his neck. “Nighteyes!” he whispered in savage satisfaction. “I had not thought to see you again. Well met, old friend.” He buried his face in the wolf’s ruff, wiping away tears. I did not think less of him for them. My own ran unchecked down my face.
Like sundered pieces of crockery that snick back together so precisely that the crack becomes invisible, the Fool joined us and completed us. Whereas Chade’s visit had filled me with questions and needs, the Fool’s presence was in itself an answer and a satisfaction.
The truth, I discovered, is a tree that grows as a man gains access to experience. A child sees the acorn of his daily life, but a man looks back on the oak.
“Death is always less painful and easier than life! You speak true. And yet we do not, day to day, choose death. Because ultimately, death is not the opposite of life, but the opposite of choice. Death is what you get when there are no choices left to make. Am I right?”
A son, mine and not mine. And as my father had chosen with me, so had I with him. To not know him, for the sake of protecting him.
Cruelty is a skill taught not only by example but by experience of it.
Life is a balance. We tend to forget that as we go blithely from day to day. We eat and drink and sleep and assume that we will always rise up the next day, that meals and rest will always replenish us. Injuries we expect to heal, and pain to lessen as times goes by.
“He makes me want to hold him tight and keep him safe. Protect him from all the terrible things that were done to you in the name of the Farseer reign.” The Fool paused. “I lie,” he admitted. “I would protect him from all the terrible things that were done to you because I used you as my Catalyst.”
it’s strange, isn’t it, how you don’t know how big a part of you someone is until they’re threatened? And then you think that you can’t possibly go on if something happens to them, but the most frightening part is that, actually, you will go on, you’ll have to go on, with them or without them.
Experience had taught me that those most like me presented the greatest threat to me.
So grief has always seemed to me, a time of waiting not for the hurt to pass, but to become accustomed to it.
But most of all, the crashing silence in my heart where for so long Nighteyes’ awareness had been a steady beacon in my darkness, a warmth in my winter, a guide star in my night.
“He is a friend, my Prince. The best friend I have ever had, and like to be yours, as well.”
“If you will have me,” the Fool offered humbly, “I will serve you as I served your father, and your grandfather before him.”
the past had broken free of my effort to define and understand it. History is no more fixed and dead than the future. The past is no further away than the last breath you took.