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I carried the knowledge that he was gone in my tight chest, my aching throat, my stomach that felt as though I’d swallowed a riverbed’s worth of stones.
When my thoughts are churning, trying to find some way to avert catastrophe and wish us into a different, better world, I don’t have to focus on the fact that I live in this one, where my heart is still broken.
I know that this is not pain without aim or form, even if it is pain without end. It is proof of how much I miss her, my love for her in another shape.