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But then, Pasha stroked my back. He didn’t find me repulsive. The voices stopped, and the black hole closed.
“Now, onto the second issue. What the fuck is wrong with you all—collecting random unconscious women and taking them home with you?” All heads turn toward Sergei. “Oh, don’t look at me!” He laughs, “I got mine years ago and I’m done.”
“You’re not falling apart, Asya.” I reach out and trace the line of her chin with my thumb. “You’re pulling yourself together.”
“No. You won’t.” I lightly pinch her chin. “And that’s okay. They’ll love you just the same. What happened to you, changed you, Asya. It would change anyone. Irrevocably. You need to accept the person you’ve become. You’re still you. Changed, yes, but that shouldn’t keep you from the people who care about you.”
“No, you can’t bring the buyers to Ural, Sergei,” I say into the phone and sigh. “Why the hell not? Did you look outside? It’s fucking freezing. My balls are going to fall off if I take them to the unheated warehouse and have to listen to their rambling for more than ten minutes.” “The last time you conducted a meeting in my club, the cleaning crew spent two hours trying to wash away the blood and brain matter from the VIP booth.” “That was years ago, Pasha!” he barks. “And you changed the upholstery to dark leather last month. Washing the blood off that is a piece of cake.” “I said no.”
“Have you ever met someone who feels like they are a missing piece of you?” I ask. “A piece you didn’t even know you were missing until they stumbled into your life?”
“Who the fuck are you and what have you done with Pavel?”
“Jeans? Really? And a fucking hoodie?” he raises his eyebrows, then bursts out laughing. “Pasha, sweetheart, are you all right?”
Though, if someone asked me how a perfect man should look, I would point to the one standing before me.
“So, you know how to cook?” “I know how to heat the leftovers from takeout. Does that count?”
And please stop banging your thick head against my wall. You’ll break the fucking thing.” “My head?” I ask. “The wall, Pavel. If your skull didn’t crack during all those years of fighting, it certainly won’t now.”
“Why go back to fighting after so many years?”
“I hoped that if I got my head smashed enough times, I would forget about you. It didn’t work, mishka.”
“It’s you,” Pasha says and brushes my cheek with the back of his other hand. “The bird?” “Yes.” I look up from the tattoo and find his eyes watching me. “There’s only one bird,” I say. “Where are you?” “I’m not there. Just you.” “Why?” He dips his head to whisper in my ear. “Because there was nothing left of me after you flew away, mishka.”
“I wanted something better for you.”
“It doesn’t get better than you, Pasha,”
“You’re the only man I want.”
“What is love for you, Pasha?”
“The feeling of never being close enough.” His other hand comes to the back of my neck, squeezing lightly. “I have the need to somehow absorb you into my chest, so you’ll always be with me. Safe from harm. Only mine. Forever.” I open my mouth to say something, but he silences me by slamming his lips to mine. “I love you to the point of madness, Asya,” he whispers against my mouth, “and I really need you to be sure. Please.”
“I have only one home.” She lifts her face to look right into my eyes and smiles. “You. You are my home now.”
“Why?” I whisper. His hold around my middle tightens. “Because I needed you to understand.” “What, Pasha?” “That as far as I’m concerned, you can’t make a wrong decision, baby.” A kiss lands at the top of my head. “Even if it’s just picking the cereal flavor.”
“You think Pasha will like it?”
“That man is so ridiculously in love with you, you could walk in there wearing a kitchen rag and he would eat you up with his eyes.”
I’m staring at Arturo’s retreating form when I hear subdued snickering at my side. I look over at the gray-haired guy next to me. He’s piling meat on his plate while a wide smile spreads across his face.
“Jesus fuck, Albert! Are you done?” The big, blond guy standing on the other side nudges him with his elbow. I think his name is Sergei. “Move already, there are other people here who want to eat. And why are you snickering like a damn hyena?”
“I wouldn’t advise enraging a woman pregnant with twins, Pasha,”
