Grayson's Vow

by Mia Sheridan

Home sweet home. I cringed inwardly. There had been very little sweet attached to this place for me.

I refused to let myself into this house as if I belonged here.

It was what I had wanted, wasn’t it? So why did it hurt so badly?

It felt as if his hand in mine was the only thing keeping me standing.

Assaulting someone would only send me back to prison and I wouldn’t risk it. In that way, the incident had served to remind me of my shame, brought home my limitations as a man. If I needed to, how would I even fight for my woman now?

My throat felt tight as her body tensed in my arms, like she didn’t know how to be held. God, growing up with no mother and a father like that, she probably didn’t. I had only slightly more to draw upon but enough to take the lead.

“It’s okay,” I said. “I’m here. I’ve got you.” “Said the Dragon to the witch,” she said softly, a small twinkle in her still-teary eyes. “There’s my girl,” I said.

They inspired me to find that same courage within myself. People suffer all over the world every day. But people triumph all over the world every day too. And those beautifully brave women helped me reach for triumph as well. And though our situations were very different, I healed along with them.”

Reach for triumph. The words echoed in my head. How though? How is it possible in the midst of so much hurt?

“It’s not easy. It takes work and faith and a whole heart full of hope. It takes letting the pain in too.

you can’t shut off one emotion without shutting off all your emotions. You have to feel the pain if you’re going to feel the joy.

money that surely had any number of soul-stripping strings attached.

Maybe I needed to be protecting her from myself. But for the life of me, I couldn’t make myself stop.

I wanted to devour her, become part of her fire, her life force.

“Let me give you pleasure, Kira. Let me show you how beautiful you are when I make you come.”

Looking at her this way felt like inhaling a bright ray of sunlight.

Perhaps I’d leave Grayson with my heart slightly bruised. But wasn’t a slightly bruised heart worth the electricity we created together?

“Plus, I have limited time to make my mark on your life,” I reminded him. “Oh, you’ve made your mark, Kira.”

“I guess there are different types of generosity. I’m sorry your stepmother couldn’t find the generosity of heart to show more kindness to a little boy who wasn’t hers.”

He was looking to earn the love he’d never fully received during his father’s life now that the man was gone. An impossible dream.

But somehow, calling him a name didn’t diminish the hurt. Calling him a name didn’t repair the tiny fissure in my heart, the one his blindingly beautiful scales had created. But I’d done this. He wasn’t the only one to blame.

So I was nothing more than a convenience. Nothing more than a way to temporarily slake his physical desires. But I wanted more than his lust.

“She needs love more than anything. It will hurt her more if you hold it back.”

No one ever wanted to be with the witch, after all. Not in the end.

there’s nothing on earth like the feel of someone who loves you grasping your hand in the dark when you’re lost and afraid.”

I had been right. There was no place for me in this.

I understood his loneliness because I’d lived it.

He’d built a fortress of ice surrounding his heart. I’d witnessed portions of it melting, but as soon as Shane and Vanessa had shown up, he’d quickly filled in the gaps. I understood the initial necessity, but I’d be a fool if I imagined I’d ever be enough to melt it permanently.

I’d become yet another man in her life using her as the scapegoat.

My breath caught as I took her in. She was the most beautifully wild thing I had ever seen.

I wanted her to soothe the wild agony raging inside, to reassure the wounded part of my heart that she thought there was something worthy about me, to tell me that she wanted me too. But I had no idea how to put those feelings into words, didn’t know how to ask, especially when I had so much to apologize for.

“You defiant, little she-devil,”

I could see everyone else in my peripheral vision, their heads swinging back and forth from person to person as well. The only thing missing was popcorn.

the ice moving swiftly up my spine to fill my chest and surround my heart. I took comfort in the frigid feeling. It was what I knew, what I deserved, and how I would survive the hurt.

“I’m not in love with Kira,” I insisted, but the words felt flimsy, as if they didn’t hold any weight and might simply float away.

I snorted. I was not in love with the little witch. Was I?

“When we’re together, we act like out-of-control children half the time.” And the other times like desperate lovers, unable to keep our hands off each other… “We should all be children when it comes to love—open and vulnerable.”

but I know you have good reason to guard your heart. And good reason to want to choose someone who doesn’t inspire such passion, such intensity, and such fear because you learned early that love hurts.

And for those such as yourselves, true love is a scary prospect. True love is the greatest leap of faith there is.”

listen to them, not with your hurt but with your heart.”

love is not always smooth and easy. Love can be piercing. Love means exposing yourself—all of yourself, every tender part—to being hurt. Because true love is not only the flower; true love is also the thorns.”

praising her for finding her voice and being brave enough to use it.

Oh God, I do—I love her. And I wanted her love. I hungered for it. And I was terrified to want like that. I didn’t know how to feel the emotions I was suddenly acknowledging, knew even less how to expose them to her rejection.