Monsters: A Fan's Dilemma

by Claire Dederer

They are opposite poles of the uneasy continuum that all artist-mothers walk. On one end you have the woman who gives up a child in order to form herself into an artist; on the other end you have a woman who gives up the artist self for the sake of the children. Artist-mothers dwell on all points between these two poles, and maybe for some lucky (that word again) ones there are fleeting moments, flashing fugitive points when they are able to make work in a way that’s supported by the people around them. Faith needed to live her two identities—mother, artist—in succession. She couldn’t do both things at the same time, as is the case for many women. Mitchell went the other direction, schismed herself, cut the mother self from the artist self altogether. Instability, capriciousness, and outright fury fueled Mitchell’s fame at its height. She was trying to make something great and at the same time trying to navigate the decidedly non-great waters of the music industry, which kept wanting her to be a woman in a very particular way.