The Hating Game

by Sally Thorne

Joshua is glaring at me with angry eyebrows. I use my brainwaves to transmit an insult to him, which he receives and pulls himself up straight.

We sweep around a corner. Annabelle turns from the photocopier and almost drops her papers. “What’s happening?”

I spot a little origami bird made of notepaper I once flicked at him during a meeting.

I notice my Post-it note with the kiss on it stuck to the fridge and point at it.

“Some horrible monsters secretly enjoy spoiling little duchesses. Should we aim for a two-hour cease-fire? Starting now?”

“Why do you even want to know anything about me? I thought I was going to be your one glorious bout of hate sex to cross off your list before you settle down with some Mr. Nice Guy.”

“Vanilla ice cream. Eaten from your bowl, with your spoon. And strawberries.”

“Lucy,” is all he can seem to say. “Lucy. How am I going to walk away from tonight? Seriously. How?”

“I’m finally having you.”

“I’m a one-night stand. This is everything I’ve been trying to avoid. I’ve been trying to build something, not give you some sense of closure.”

“I haven’t wanted you this long, and gone through so much, and given up so much, to have you for one night. It’s not enough.”

think you know there’s going to

be no more ragging on Josh.

Except by me, because he ...

Josh picks me up off the ground. “Thank you,” he tells me. “Thank you so much.” When we kiss, I hear some applause. “You’re not mad I rescued you? Boys don’t need rescuing.” “This one did. And I’ll even let you choose which you wanna be. Thelma, or Louise,” he tells me, setting me on my feet as the car arrives. “You’re the good-looking one, I guess you’re Thelma.”

He takes one look at my face. “Oh, no. Don’t tell me.” My stomach drops out of my body and I grip the edge of the counter. He knows. He’s a mind reader. My eyes are love-hearts. “You’re completely freaking out,” he states flatly.

“I record whether you’re wearing a dress or skirt. D, or S. I make a mark when we argue, and I make a mark when I see you smile at someone else. Also, when I wish I could kiss you. The dots are just my lunch break.”

“It made no difference. I loved you the moment I saw you.” I’m falling backward, through his bed. He loops an arm around my waist. I jerk like he’s caught me. “You love … What? Me?” “Lucinda Elizabeth Hutton. One and the same.” “Me.” “Lucy, heiress of the Sky Diamond Strawberries dynasty.” “Me.” “Could you show some ID so I can be certain?” His eyes are lit and the smile I love best of all is glowing on his face. “But I love you.” I can hear how incredulous I sound. He laughs. “I know.”

“How do you always know everything?” I kick my feet against the mattress. “I only figured it out a few minutes ago. Your heart has been breaking.” “I can’t hide anything from you. It’s the worst.” I try to put my face into the pillow. “You don’t need to hide anything from me.” He takes my chin in his fingers and kisses me.

“You hate me.” “I never have. Not for a second. I have always loved you.” “Prove it. There’s no way you can.”

“What’s my favorite color?” “Easy. Blue.” “What kind of blue?” “Bedroom blue!” I point at the wall. “The walls. Your shirt. My dress. Pale Tiffany blue.” He tugs me to sit, then goes to the end of the bed. He opens his wardrobe door, and I see all of the shirts hanging in color sequence. “Josh, you dork.” I start to laugh and point, but he grabs my ankles and drags me to the end of the bed. There’s a full-length mirror, and I see myself, at long last sitting on the bed in his robin’s-egg bedroom. His walls are the blue of my eyes. I’ve been a bit slow. “But that’s the prettiest blue in the world!”

“I know. Good lord, Lucinda. I thought I’d be busted the moment you saw this room.” He sits on the bed behind me, one knee up, and I fall back into the perfect cradle of his body. “How somebody can’t recognize their own eyes, I’ll never know.” “Seems I didn’t recognize a few things. Hey, Josh.” “Yes, Shortcake.” “You love me.” I see him smile in our reflection at the confusion and wonder in my tone. “Since the moment I saw you. Since the moment you smiled at me, I felt like I was falling backward off a cliff. The feeling has never stopped. I’ve been trying to drag you down with me. In the worst, most ill-conceived and socially stunted way possible.”

“I love strawberries. I’m so lovesick, I eat them constantly. Can I nickname you Shortcake? It’ll be a dead giveaway that I love you.”

He looks at the ceiling. “I think I’ll paint my bedroom this weekend. I’ll probably feel annoyed the whole time I do it. And I’ll happily farewell my current girlfriend, a tall boring blonde called Mindy Thailis. She’s not you and it eats me up. It makes the fact I sleep alone and desperately celibate in this Lucy-blue room even more romantic when I eventually tell you.”

“The same as all the others. For you to love me.” “Mine was to make you smile. How lame.” “I laughed my ass off every day on the drive home from work, if it makes you feel any better.”

“I love you, Lucy Hutton. So much, you have no idea. Please be my best friend.”