The Hating Game

by Sally Thorne

Books were, and always would be, something a little magic and something to respect.

I cross my ankles, belatedly remembering I kicked off my shoes earlier. It’s hard to be a good nemesis when your bright red toenails are showing.

Joshua is glaring at me with angry eyebrows. I use my brainwaves to transmit an insult to him, which he receives and pulls himself up straight.

“Put me down. This isn’t funny.” My feet make little ineffectual spirals. This isn’t the first time a big kid’s thrown his weight around with me. Marcus DuShay in third grade once slung me onto the hood of the principal’s car and ran off laughing. The plight of the little humans. There is no dignity for us in this oversize world.

I look lustfully at his filing cabinet. If he wasn’t here I’d read his electricity bills.

Josh watches ER and yawns, not at all suspecting I’m trying to estimate how big his rib cage is like a meat-eating predator.

When his bedroom door opens and he appears again, I am a mature young woman, legs elegantly crossed, flipping through a medical textbook, sipping my tea. He’s got on some soft black sweats, a black T-shirt, and nice bare feet. Can’t he have a flaw? He sits on the edge of the couch, his hair damp and ruffled in every direction. I turn the page and unfortunately a lurid diagram of an erect penis glares up at me. “I am trying to be a bit more normal.” He looks at the page. “How’s it working out so far?” “I’m glad this isn’t a pop-up book.”

Josh laughs, a big proper laugh like I’m hilarious. Delighted, irritated electricity floods me. I’m crackling with it. In this moment, I’m more alive than I’ve ever been. Fight with me, kiss me. Laugh at me. Tell me if you’re sad. Don’t make me go home.

“I’ll call you after work once I’ve worked out what book I want you to format for me.” Josh is nearly upon us. I’m beginning to think I might toss Danny into oncoming traffic myself to end this agonizing little tableau.

“Horny eyes,” he tells me shakily. “No kidding. I want to snort you. You always smell amazing.”

I tug him down to lie on me properly. “I’m pretty heavy. I’ll flatten you.” “I’ve had a good life.”

Maybe it was the smell of spring in the air; the field of four-leaf clovers we pass. Red roses against a fence. Leather seats and Josh’s skin.

At any moment I could die. But I don’t. I fall asleep, my cheek against the warm seat, my face turned toward him, like it always has been. Like it always will. I open my eyes a tiny crack. We’re in a parking garage. “We’re home,” he says. I think the unthinkable. I should have been thinking it all along. My eyes slide closed and I feign sleep. “You need to wake up,” he whispers. A kiss on my cheek. A miracle. I love Joshua Templeman.

“It made no difference. I loved you the moment I saw you.” I’m falling backward, through his bed. He loops an arm around my waist. I jerk like he’s caught me. “You love … What? Me?” “Lucinda Elizabeth Hutton. One and the same.” “Me.” “Lucy, heiress of the Sky Diamond Strawberries dynasty.” “Me.” “Could you show some ID so I can be certain?” His eyes are lit and the smile I love best of all is glowing on his face. “But I love you.” I can hear how incredulous I sound. He laughs. “I know.”

“What’s my favorite color?” “Easy. Blue.” “What kind of blue?” “Bedroom blue!” I point at the wall. “The walls. Your shirt. My dress. Pale Tiffany blue.” He tugs me to sit, then goes to the end of the bed. He opens his wardrobe door, and I see all of the shirts hanging in color sequence. “Josh, you dork.” I start to laugh and point, but he grabs my ankles and drags me to the end of the bed. There’s a full-length mirror, and I see myself, at long last sitting on the bed in his robin’s-egg bedroom. His walls are the blue of my eyes. I’ve been a bit slow. “But that’s the prettiest blue in the world!” “I know. Good lord, Lucinda. I thought I’d be busted the moment you saw this room.” He sits on the bed behind me, one knee up, and I fall back into the perfect cradle of his body. “How somebody can’t recognize their own eyes, I’ll never know.” “Seems I didn’t recognize a few things. Hey, Josh.” “Yes, Shortcake.” “You love me.”

“Time for a new game. The Starting Over Game.” I smile. Eyes bright, dazzling, full of hope and certainty this merger will be the most exciting, passionate, challenging thing ever to happen to me. “Nice to meet you. I’m Lucy Hutton.” “Joshua Templeman. Please, call me Josh.” I see the blinding flash of his smile in return, and now I’m properly crying. Tears running down my neck. “Josh.” “Sounds like heaven coming out of your mouth.” “Josh, please. We’ve been colleagues for one minute, you’re rather flirtatious. Let me hang my coat.”

“Yes. And if you get the job, I will be happy for you.” “I already resigned. My last day was Friday. Jeanette came in and did the paperwork. I’m on vacation now.” “What the fuck?” I blurt into his bed. “I don’t want anything that means I can’t have you. There’s nothing worth it.”

“I’ve worked out a solution. Something so Machiavellian even you will deem it a perfect solution. It retains all of the competitive bullshit we thrive on.” “I’m scared to ask.” “I’m the new divisional finance head of Sanderson Print. B and G’s most bitter rival.” “Josh. What? No.” “I know! I’m an evil mastermind!”

“Oh man, how angry was Mr. Bexley? He’s not a romantic.” “Furious. He was on the verge of calling security. Thankfully Helene came in and defused things. Once I told them my reasons for leaving, they were pretty understanding. Helene said she’s always known it.” “Reasons.” “I had one weekend left to make you love me.”

“Every night? Well, I can’t on the long weekend. I’m going to Sky Diamonds for the week. I don’t suppose you’re busy then.” “Take me with you,” he says in between kisses on my shoulders. “I know the way. I’ve mapped the journey. Flights and hire cars. I’ll grovel to your dad. I know exactly what I’ll say.” “I don’t get it with you and that place.” “I need to go there so I can start at the beginning. So that I can know everything about you.” “You sure do love strawberries.” “I love you, Lucy Hutton. So much, you have no idea. Please be my best friend.” I’m so ridiculously in love. I decide to try it out loud. “I’m in love with Joshua Templeman.” His reply is a whisper in my ear. “Finally.”