The Hating Game

by Sally Thorne

At the foot of his emails is always: Rgds, J. Would it kill him to type Regards, Joshua? It’s too many keystrokes, apparently.

Bro set up your signature

He’s received a verbal and written warning about the nickname he has for me. I’ve received two warnings; one for verbal abuse and for a juvenile prank that got out of hand. I’m not proud.

Wtf? You both should be fired at this point 💀

Le sigh.

Cringe

I’m slightly impressed. I was a bit concerned imagining those four heaving their heavy, pain-riddled, aging bodies across

Geez this girl's thoughts

“Do you like strawberries?” I don’t know what else to say. “I love strawberries. So much, you have no idea.”

Aww cute

All I know is, it hurts me to think he feels bad about such a fundamental aspect of himself. I resolve to objectify him less,

Thank god

I decide to take the huge sweeping spiral staircase down instead of the elevator.

bro this is too cliche even for me

Elaine soon excuses herself to greet Mindy’s parents, and help several terrifyingly old people into their seats.

Girl you say the mosft insensitive shit

“A blue dress?” I see Josh’s reflection over me in the window and jump in fright. He takes the phone out of my hand and looks at the caller ID. “It’s Joshua. Don’t call her again. Yes, I’m serious.” He hangs it up and slides it into his pocket. “Hey. Give it back.” “No fucking chance. He’s who you had to sneak off and call?” The look in his eyes is getting sharper, blacker.

i would be fuming

“You’re beautiful when you’re scared,” he tells me.

Yikes

“I love you, Lucy Hutton. So much, you have no idea. Please be my best friend.”

Ok that is sweet