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At the eleventh hour, a deal was struck with another struggling publishing house. Gamin Publishing was forced into an arranged marriage with the crumbling evil empire known as Bexley Books, ruled by the unbearable Mr. Bexley himself.
okay am i reading you’ve got mail???
Books were, and always would be, something a little magic and something to respect.
Every day here is a challenge, a privilege, a sacrifice, and a frustration.
me in america
Then he swings those dark blue eyes to mine, his brow beginning to crease. The familiar bubble forms in my head. I wish he was my friend. I burst it with a pin.
:(((
I don’t like big guys. They’re too much like horses. They could trample you if you got underfoot.
lmao???
I guess it’s true that I’m always observing, listening, and collecting trivia. But not for any nefarious purpose. It’s mainly because I’m a lonely loser.
literally me
Joshua is glaring at me with angry eyebrows. I use my brainwaves to transmit an insult to him, which he receives and pulls himself up straight.
ooh girl
I feel the heat of his body inches from my back. It’s like sunshine. I’d forgotten that other people are warm.
oh my god??
He is making a mark with his pencil, a straight single tally, when he notices me. “What are you smirking about?” I think he makes a mark in his planner when we argue.
sureeeeee
“Maybe he’s hopelessly in love with her,” Mom offers optimistically as she looks properly into the camera for the first time. My stomach drops through the floor. I catch a glimpse of my own face; I am a clay statuette of frozen horror and surprise.
hehe yes maybe he is
Joshua Templeman is going to spray his coffee out his nose when I walk in. I don’t know why I want him to—but I do. What a confusing thought to fall asleep with.
girl it is not confusing at all lmao
“Wowsers,” he drawls, and I watch his pencil make some kind of mark. “Got a hot date, Shortcake?”
hehehehe
The plight of the little humans. There is no dignity for us in this oversize world.
His lips curve and I touch his face. The first smile Joshua’s ever had in my presence is pressed against my lips.
When he slows the car at the front of the bar I’m out and running before he’s even come to a complete stop. I hear him shout my name, annoyed. I register that he calls me Lucy.
oop!!!
“You look fine.” It’s the nicest thing he’s ever said to me.
lmao
it’s a deliveryman with flowers. A huge bouquet of lipstick-red roses. I pinch open the little envelope and the card says three whole words. You’re always beautiful. There’s no signature but it doesn’t need one.
help???
Burning up closer to one hundred four, and now she’s one hundred five point six.”
good lord she’s gonna die
“I need to ask you something.” Sometime later, his voice cuts through the hazy darkness. “It’s not fair to ask now, but I will. If I could think of a way to get us out of this mess, would you want me to do it?” I’m still holding on to him like he’s the only thing stopping me from falling off the planet. “Like how?” “However I could. Would you want me to?” If he would be my friend for the days left, it would be enough. It would be wonderful enough to burn away the negativity. That smile would be enough.
:((((
I stare at the ceiling and admit the astonishing truth to myself. I don’t hate Joshua Templeman.
girlllll of course u don’t
How can he be these two different men? A second realization hits me. Perhaps I am a determining factor. The concept is scary. The only way I can get him to drop his guard is to drop mine. Maybe I can change everything.
Joshua returns twenty minutes later, bearing donuts and coffee. He still beats Mr. Bexley back from the bathroom. “Nice save,” Joshua tells me, putting a hot chocolate and a strawberry donut beside my mouse pad.
help this would be enough to make me fall in love with him
Maybe he’s never hated me. Maybe he’s always wanted me.
lmao yeah???
The energy that usually lashes ineffectively inside each of us now has a conduit, forming a loop of electricity between us, cycling through me, into him. My heart is glowing in my chest like a bulb, flashing brighter with each movement of his lips.
I spot a little origami bird made of notepaper I once flicked at him during a meeting.
FUCK??!,!!???!!??
I notice my Post-it note with the kiss on it stuck to the fridge and point at it.
AUGUSICUSNCMXKSJVNDJSKM
“Now, Shortcake. We’re going to do something a bit unusual.” He unmutes the TV and takes a sip from his mug and starts watching an old rerun of ER like we do this every night.
AHHHHHH?!!?!?!??!??!! MARRY THIS MAN MARRY HIM MARRY HIM
Please, I beg myself. Please hate Josh again. This is too hard.
I’m about to lose something that I never had to begin with.
YOU WEREN’T MINE TO LOSE
“If it’s late, I end up having to stay back.” “You don’t have any family here, or a boyfriend, do you? Late nights don’t affect you like they do for people with husbands and … well, people with families.” “Well, I’m not going to get myself a husband or a life if I keep staying until nine o’clock at night, now am I? I’ll expect the report from Alan at five.”
this bitch?????
“You guys have a weird dynamic going on.” “There’s no dynamic. No dynamic.” I begin swigging at my coffee. It’s too hot and a terrible idea. “But you know he’s in love with you, right?” I inhale my huge mouthful and begin to drown on dry land. Danny leans over and thumps me between my shoulder blades. Tears are streaming down my face. I wish he’d let me die. “He’s not,” I wheeze.
LMAOOOO everyone knows it but her
“You’re working on your presentation. Right. Okay.” Josh takes his coffee when his name is called and gives such an accusing look my face nearly melts off. “And were we doing that too, Lucinda? Last night on my couch?”
LMAO?!?!?!
Mr. Bexley puts his head out of his office, looks at us both, and shakes his head. “Hell in a handbasket. I tell you, hell in a handbasket.” A witchy Shakespearean crone has nothing on him right now. Josh laughs. “Richard, please.” “Shut your mouth, Bexley,” I hear Helene call faintly. He
help could they both get it???
They walk out down the aisle wearing their brand-new gold rings, and everyone stands up, talking and exclaiming until the strains of the ancient organ are almost drowned out. For the first time, I notice some speculative glances at Josh. What gives?
BITCH HOLD ON DONT TELL ME-
A strange sensation stirs in my chest. It unfolds, grows twice as large, then again. It doesn’t stop; it gets faster, bigger, feathers and fluff stuffing my chest like a cushion. I don’t know what’s happening, but it’s filling up my throat and I can’t find any breath.
“You know Josh and I dated for a year?” She waves her hand quickly as if it were nothing.
I KNEW IT OH MY FUCKING GOD
“Oh, Lucy. Sorry to upset you, especially if you two are early days. But Josh is yours.” I manage a weak laugh. He’s really not.
:(((
I want to leap into a rowboat and sail to a deserted island. Only then will I be able to face up to it. I have feelings for Joshua Templeman. Irreversible, stupid, and ill-advised feelings. Why else would this hurt so much?
“Why do you stay?” “Prior to the merger, I nearly quit every day. But I already had the family reputation as a quitter.” “And post merger?” He looks away, and I see the edge of his mouth beginning to curl in a smile. “The job had a few good things about it.”
fUCK
“I had it all planned.” He finally finds his voice again, moving me backward smoothly to the bed. He hauls the coverlet away and lays me back against the sheets with easy strength. “It was going to be a little more romantic than a hotel room.” Josh, thinking about romance? My heart can’t take it. He captures my mouth in a kiss, and it’s so gentle I could cry.
I want to tell him, yes, rent this room for the rest of our lives. If I had more time, I could make you love me. The realization has me by the throat.
Brute, raw masculinity contrasted with gentleness is the most attractive thing on earth.
I open my eyes a tiny crack. We’re in a parking garage. “We’re home,” he says. I think the unthinkable. I should have been thinking it all along. My eyes slide closed and I feign sleep. “You need to wake up,” he whispers. A kiss on my cheek. A miracle. I love Joshua Templeman.
“I record whether you’re wearing a dress or skirt. D, or S. I make a mark when we argue, and I make a mark when I see you smile at someone else. Also, when I wish I could kiss you. The dots are just my lunch break.” “Oh. Why?” My stomach trills. He considers. “When you get so little of someone, you take what you can get.”
i’m in tears oh my god
“I couldn’t. If I’d let myself smile back, and be friends with you, I probably would have fallen in love with you.”
I love him so much it’s like a thread piercing me. Punching holes. Dragging through. Stitching love into me. I’ll never be able to untangle myself from this feeling. The color of love is surely this robin’s-egg blue.
“It made no difference. I loved you the moment I saw you.”
“You hate me.” “I never have. Not for a second. I have always loved you.”
“What’s my favorite color?” “Easy. Blue.” “What kind of blue?” “Bedroom blue!” I point at the wall. “The walls. Your shirt. My dress. Pale Tiffany blue.” He tugs me to sit, then goes to the end of the bed. He opens his wardrobe door, and I see all of the shirts hanging in color sequence. “Josh, you dork.” I start to laugh and point, but he grabs my ankles and drags me to the end of the bed. There’s a full-length mirror, and I see myself, at long last sitting on the bed in his robin’s-egg bedroom. His walls are the blue of my eyes. I’ve been a bit slow.
oh my FUCKING GODDDDDDDDDDD
