The Hating Game

by Sally Thorne

I’m a pip-squeak at exactly five feet tall.

if u tell me how tall u are one more time i will commit violent acts

Le sigh.

physically i recoiled

am insanely sensitive about my height and I absolutely hate synthetic fibers. I open my mouth and a cute animal growl comes out.

i am so small and so cute

The smallest suit they had is still so big that people laugh when they see me. Such elegance. Such grace. I

god is dead and a teeny tiny cutesie little girl killed him.

My feet dangle like I’m five years old as I perch on the stool, which he helped me up onto.

so tiny she’s like a toddler!! this is normal :)

The territorial little cavewoman inside me appears at the entrance to her cave and scowls.

why is her whole character arc “i am literally fucking insane”

It’s like seeing a bruised nightclub bouncer cuddling a tutu-clad toddler,

i’m begging you let me die