The Hating Game

by Sally Thorne

you’re on the brink of fight or flight.

Me everyday

Your body is barely under your control. You’re consumed, and it scares you.

Chronically ill people be like

Joshua Templeman.

Tbh what kind of name is that

She’s one of those horrific people who pronounces it me-graine.

Ew ive never even heard that

He should be a short, fat troll with watery eyes. A limping hunchback. Warts and zits. Yellow-cheese teeth and onion sweat.

Thats how people named joshua seem to me

My life revolved around the weekly trip to the town library. I’d borrow the maximum number of titles allowed

Me when i was little

I was such a little book nerd.

the main reason I don’t get a new job is: I can’t let Joshua win this.

Real asf

machine-gun keystrokes

Unfortunately, thats how i type

My wardrobe is knits and retro. A sort of cool librarian chic, I hope.

Lovethat

I’m only five feet tall so it didn’t take long.

Damn shes short af

“You notice so much about me, Shortcake.

Awww shortcake is lowkey cute

“Stop calling me Shortcake or I’ll report you to HR.”

For harrassment!!

I use her favorite font.

Awww

His first name is Richard. Fat Little Dick.

He pauses by my desk to look down the front of my red silk blouse.

Wtf

and looks down my top again.

Perv??

So, painting your nails tonight, desperately alone?”

Bruh its so obvious that he likes you!!

“I’ll give you a ride,” he forces out.

Girl he fucking likes you!!!

Cream Shirt Wednesday.

This sounds sus af

forensic examination

Both Helene and Mr. Bexley despise computerized calendars,

Old people be like

Joshua is at least six-four.

Yessss

I wonder what the top of my head looks like.

Real

reluctantly breathe in a steady lungful of cedar-pine spice. He smells like a freshly sharpened pencil. A Christmas tree in a cold, dark room.

“It’s her passion in life. She lives and breathes Smurfs.

Autistic?

“Shortcake, if we were flirting, you’d know about it.”

“Because I’d be traumatized?” “Because you’d be thinking about it later on, lying in bed.” “Been imagining my bed, have you?” I manage to reply.

THE BANTER OML

It’s smug and male and I hate it.

dressed in dove gray

I love how the evolution ofhis shirt colors, show that time has passed

“Strawberries.” Hence the nickname Strawberry Shortcake.

Awww

I indulge myself in molar grinding.

Diamonte strawberries. Camino Reals and Everbearers. They all sound like the names of cool old cars.

True

The Beatles’ fans

Lucy in the sky with diamonds!!

visibly trembling with the need to laugh. “I will kill you.”

Idk understand why she gets SO triggered, he isnt even that mean, hes joking! And legit flirting!!

a typical male, awkward at the sight of female tears.

The unsaid word homesick continues to rattle inside my chest. Lonely.

In case it’s not painfully clear, I idolize her. She’s the reason I stopped wearing so much eye makeup. I want to be her when I grow up. Her favorite word is darling.

I guess it’s true that I’m always observing, listening, and collecting trivia.

“It’s open to both internal and external applicants.” Helene stacks her papers and rises.

So now their hatered is even more of a challenge

watching the water turn brick red.

Ew what kind of tea is that?

She rubs her eyes, making a mess of her mascara.

“When I’m your boss, I’m going to work you so fucking hard,” Joshua’s voice is dirty and rough.

Ummmm

“When I’m your boss, you’re going to do everything I say with a big smile on your face.”

This is so kinky and for what

Dad is enslaved by her beauty. I know for a fact, because he was telling her roughly ten minutes ago.

To me, the fact she gave up her dream job for a man is a tragedy, no matter how wonderful my dad is, or the fact that I’m sitting here now as a result.

“Maybe he’s hopelessly in love with her,” Mom offers optimistically

Exactly

It’s disturbing that a piece of Joshua Templeman has invaded my bedroom.

Bruh HE will be in there one day

His voice is a hot whisper, right in my ear as he twists his hips to grind himself against my butt.

girl you obvi like him if this is what youre dreamimg

“Wowsers,” he drawls, and I watch his pencil make some kind of mark. “Got a hot date, Shortcake?”