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“She’s at that age where she’s realized that I am the stupidest motherfucker who has ever walked the face of the earth.”
“You know I don’t trust men who wear glasses. Why can’t they see?” Faith
“Uncle Will wears a three-piece suit to work.” “Because Uncle Will is a dork,”
“Why do I feel like the only human in a Muppet movie?”
“Squirrels lose seventy-five percent of the nuts they bury. That’s how we get trees.” “Does now seem like an appropriate time for a nut metaphor?”
Mr. McTapey Pants
Sara could hear a leaf blower in the distance, the unofficial bird of Atlanta.