By Fate I Conquer (Sins of the Fathers, #4)

by Cora Reilly

Twelve years old I was only a young girl, dressed in my favorite tutu, when I came to the realization that the men in my family were like the monsters in the scary movies that Nevio loved to watch. And a piece of my heart broke.

I’d always loved the dark. I sought the nooks and crevices of our mansion to hide when the world around me became too much, when the sounds and smells crowded in my brain like an avalanche, threatening to bury me beneath.

Dad always said we needed to face our fears or they’d control us.

I stared into the darkness, fighting nausea and trying to quiet the whooshing in my ears. Soon the dark and quiet took effect and my pulse slowed, and then later the whooshing in my ears settled down as well. Sweet oblivion.

I didn’t know what I was feeling. Mostly, I didn’t want to feel. I just wanted to be, in the dark and quiet, all alone.

I needed quiet, needed dark, darker than the storage room, dark enough to black out my too accurate memory replaying every detail of the man’s anguished face.

I wanted to forget but was it wrong of me to wish for something like that?

Greta is different. I didn’t move. I knew I was different. I didn’t like being around people that weren’t my family. Too many people made me anxious. I never minded being different. But now I wondered if I’d hurt Aurora by being the way I was.

Worrying my brother always made me feel bad.

“I fear what you’re capable of. I fear for the people who’ll cross your path in an unfortunate moment.” “That’s how nature works, you know?” he murmured. “There’s dark and light, there must be. Maybe it’s the same with twins, but it wasn’t split evenly between us. I got all the darkness and you got all the light.”

“I won’t ever run from you, Nevio. I’ll always be at your side, no matter what.” “You swear?” “I swear.”

I’d never understood people who chose obliviousness over information, who weren’t driven by strong curiosity to know everything. Maybe I was slowly getting there.

“I love you, Dad.” Dad pressed a kiss to my temple. “I love you more than life itself, Mia Cara. Never forget that.”

“There’s darkness all around you, pitch-black like hell itself, and no matter how hard I try to protect you from it, some of it will inevitably touch you because you are part of this family. But I swear I’ll make sure no other darkness comes close to touching you.”

It was only fitting that I should fall in love with a man who was just as bad, as brutal, as cruel as the men who’d raised me.

A girl in a light-pink tutu was dancing to the music. She appeared weightless and in a world of her own. Her black hair was piled on top of her head but a few curls framed her face. She looked like a doll come to life. Heart-shaped lips, porcelain-smooth skin and fairylike features.

On the other hand, she seemed like a girl who lived in a world of her own.

Her eyes settled on my face. “I never thought about kissing someone. But I think with you I could imagine having my first kiss one day.”

I knew it was a horrible idea to seek Greta out. Her family, especially her crazy brother would throw a major fit, and I was about to marry Cressida. A thousand reasons spoke against talking to her, but I couldn’t stay away. I needed to see her again, to hear her voice. I wasn’t sure what the hell was wrong with me. I’d never felt so incapable of controlling myself.

I was bound to marry Cressida, and quite possibly falling for Greta Falcone.

As the realization settled in the pit of my stomach that this could very well be the truth, a sense of loss overcame me, which was strange, because how could I miss something that I had never had?

“Don’t listen to these assholes. Stay where you are. You belong in the light.” My fingers slid over my tutu. “I belong with the people I love. I don’t fear the dark.”

Many people thought I couldn’t handle much because I was petite and quiet. It was true I got easily overwhelmed in certain situations, especially if I was surrounded by people I didn’t know, but my family’s darkness wasn’t one of the things that triggered my anxiety. Neither had Amo’s.

I had come here and I would do my best. Dancing was my passion. It helped me whenever everything felt too much. It calmed the chaos in my head when nothing else could. I wouldn’t give up without giving it my all.

Greta’s smile brightened. And fuck, seeing it, I would have promised her the world. What was this girl doing to me?

I wanted to claim her as mine. I wanted her with every furious pump of my heart. The moment our lips touched my body flushed with heat and my pulse raced in my veins, and everything fell into place. Her lips were the softest I’d ever felt. I wanted this kiss, this moment, to last forever. Every kiss, every touch, everything faded into meaninglessness.

What was she? Fuck me if I knew. She was everything I wanted. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I could hardly breathe when she was gone and I could hardly breathe when she was close. Her dark eyes sucked me into their abyss. With one look out of those doe-eyes she held me captive. I’d never felt this way. Did she even realize what she’d done? She’d pried my ribs open and held onto my heart with her elegant fingers. A simple kiss had enforced my longing, had made it a thousand times worse. I shouldn’t have done it, but seeing her again, watching her dance, I lost it. Kissing her had been like a fucking rebirth. She’d been sweet and lovely like I’d known she’d be.

Greta wasn’t a girl that should be kissed in the shadows, like a dark secret. She deserved to be center stage. Guilt had no place in my life, but kissing Greta in the dark as if she were nothing but an affair made me feel like dirt. This woman before me deserved so much better than what I could give her.

“You could stay here with me.” “I belong in Las Vegas.” You belong with me.

I had trouble being close to other people but the first time Amo looked into my eyes, the chaos in my head quieted. And his touch? It didn’t feel as overwhelming and confusing as every other touch felt. The kiss we’d shared today? It had awakened something in me that terrified and excited me. And suddenly I realized that only Amo could fill the void in me that I’d never known I had.

How could something that felt so right be wrong?

“I know you’re not mine. You’re Cressida’s.” “I’m not hers, won’t ever be. In the few moments we’ve shared I’ve already been more yours than I’ve ever been anyone else’s.”

So many people in my life thought I was good but there was dark inside of me too.

“So I’m one of many.” Amo looked as if I’d said something outrageous when I’d really just based my words on the facts that he’d given me. His fingers against my cheeks tightened. “Don’t you ever dare thinking this. You are everything.” “How can I be everything if you still need other women?” “I don’t.” I searched his eyes. “I can’t ask you to stop being with other women. It’s not my place. Because I can’t give you what you’d give up.” “You can ask anything of me, Greta, and I’d give it to you.”

“I’m crying because my heart’s already broken before it ever really got the chance to experience love.”

My heart had been half dead before I’d met Greta. With all the shit I’d lived through since Marcella had been kidnapped and all the horrors I’d witnessed and committed that was the natural course of things. With her it had felt like the black piece of stone in my chest could actually be revived but today whatever good had remained inside of me shriveled and died. “I do.” The word tasted false and for the briefest moment I allowed myself to search for Greta in the crowd. But I didn’t have to search. My gaze was drawn to her as if a magnetic pull connected us, and one look in her kind doe eyes and my heartbeat stilled only to speed up.

This day would change me. I loved my family, my life. I’d never longed for more, never wanted to leave my comfortable routine or familiar hometown. I’d never wanted for more than I had. Until our paths crossed and Amo sunk his claws into my heart and soul. I didn’t understand everything that went on between the sky and the earth. I didn’t believe in divine providence or fate. Soulmates? A sweet dream I’d never dreamed until he crashed through my bubble of contentment. Now a dream I never wanted became the nightmare I couldn’t shake, and a longing I’d never felt became a crushing need. One that would never be sated.

I’d grown up among cruel men. But fate was so much crueler than any of them. Amo Vitiello was my soulmate… …and now married to another woman.

She looked like the frailest beauty, like a flower too beautiful and delicate to be touched by human hands.

“Greta doesn’t need to marry to be a queen. Only by existing, she’s shining brighter than most ever will,” Remo said in a harsh voice.

“I don’t know what to do anymore.” “Last time we saw each other, I told you I wouldn’t save you again.” “I’m not sure I need saving. I’m not sure I can be saved.”

Greta hadn’t moved yet. She looked lost and small. Something haunted lay in her eyes. I realized that everything I’d sworn myself, everything I’d done this last year didn’t matter when I looked into her eyes.

She stared into the light beam and slowly sunk into herself, her cheeks hollowing as she gnawed on her lower lip, then she turned those eyes on me, and as I had a year ago, I fell hard. With one look, she sucked me in and I was unable to stop it.

“Why do you make me feel like myself and at the same time like someone new.” If I only knew. Why did she make me feel so unhinged and as if I’d finally come home at the same time?

I couldn’t remember the last time I’d just been content, without my mind running a hundred miles an hour thinking about all the problems ahead.

I closed my fingers. How could this feel so fucking perfect when it was betrayal in so many ways?

I didn’t want anything to tear me out of this. This dream. I didn’t want morning to come, maybe that was why I hesitated to allow my body to rest. Tomorrow I’d be flying back home even if it felt like my heart was slowly making itself at home somewhere else. New York was my home, had always been. But Greta…Greta, she kept my heart with her in Las Vegas.

“The end result is the same. Love can be as destructive as hatred.”

“Greta, you aren’t a dark secret. You are fucking everything and I want everyone to know. I want everyone to know you’re mine. I don’t ever want there to be someone other than me.” “There’s always only you.”

I could feel Remo’s eyes on me the entire time, but I didn’t care. I’d learned from my father that loving someone didn’t mean you were weak.