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May 11 - May 13, 2023
I was tired of the secrets, the lies, and the death.
That was the day I had my first anxiety attack. I’ve been wearing an elastic band on my wrist ever since, a coping mechanism I can’t do without. A reminder that I can still feel. That I’m still alive.
I don’t know which is worse, the constant fear I was in while at home with him, or being here, almost 100 miles away, and feeling like someone’s eyes are always on me. It might just be paranoia, or a product of growing up in the mafia, but being the daughter of a prominent Godfather in the Greek mob means there is a constant target on my back.
I don’t need love to be happy.
don’t know what the future has in store for us, but being here with two of my best friends makes the unknown seem a little less scary.
As long as we have each other, everything will be okay. Since moving to Antium and meeting them, I’ve not been as stressed and I rarely get panic attacks anymore. I feel like I can finally let go and relax.
It gets lonely sometimes, but you can still feel alone even if you have someone. It’s life’s cruelest irony.
What doesn’t kill you gives you a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms, and this one is mine. Feeling physical pain numbs the mental anguish I feel inside.
“They've promised that dreams can come true - but forgot to mention that nightmares are dreams, too.” —Oscar Wilde
She is even more gorgeous up close, her beauty suffocating, blazing with a fire even the devil couldn’t handle.
Seeing her hurt didn't sit well with me, even if it seemed to be self-inflicted.
I want to find out who or what caused her to need to feel pain to cope and make them pay.
knew I was fractured, but this was how I made peace with myself. By becoming the devil himself when I needed to protect my family. They say, ‘to know your inner demon is to know yourself,’ and I can tell you it’s true.
Killing is in my nature and I excel at it.
I hate her family, her father, and I should hate everything she stands for.
Dion is my brother. I value his opinion. I trust him. If he wants to fight, I’m ready. If he wants to be the one to receive the blunt of my wrath, let’s fucking do this.
I never lose focus.
“Next time you put on a show like you did at the club, make sure that it’s for my fucking eyes only. Or I’ll kill every single man who looks your way and punish you for being a brat,” he threatens.
She challenges me, keeps me on my toes, and soon enough, she’s going to bring me to my knees. I don’t get on my knees for no one, but I wouldn’t hesitate to kneel for her. She has me in a goddamn chokehold.
“What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” - Helen Keller
“The people we love never truly leave us when they pass. There are things in here,” he points to my temple, “and here,” he points to my heart, “that death can’t take away from you. As long as you have memories and love, you have never truly lost.”
You will obey me, even if it’s the last thing you want. If that makes me a villain, then so fucking be it. You’re mine,”
“Everything about you, including the blood traveling through your veins, is mine.”
“You are a queen—my queen—and I will bow down to you until my last breath.”
“Honesty is very hard. The truth is often painful. But the freedom it can bring is worth the trying.” –Fred Rogers
The saddest thing about betrayal is that it always comes from those who truly care about us.
“Forgive me,” I pull her closer and lift her hand with the revolver to my throat, my mouth a mere inch away from hers, “or fucking kill me, Angelica. Because I won’t be able to live in a world where you hate me.”
“To love is to lose control.” –Paulo Coelho
Hope is the only thing that can get us through this dark time.
“Your body, mind, and soul are mine. I’ve ruined you for anyone else. I’ll kill anyone who gets in between us, Angelica. If I can’t have you,” he brushes my ear with his lips and nibbles on my earlobe, “no one else can.”
“And in the end all I learned was how to be strong alone.” – Unknown
A part of me left with her that morning, and I need it back. I need her back.
