The Diávolos: Part One (The Godfathers of the Night #1)

by Nouha Jullienne

I don’t need love to be happy.

I’m so happy to feel part of a family. A found family.

“It’s not my fault my best friends look like two of the most expensive hookers waiting to take all my money.”

It gets lonely sometimes, but you can still feel alone even if you have someone. It’s life’s cruelest irony.

What doesn’t kill you gives you a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms, and this one is mine. Feeling physical pain numbs the mental anguish I feel inside.

‘to know your inner demon is to know yourself,’

I thought running away from home would solve my problems, but no matter how far I got, the images were still there. So, I started running, not to get away, but to stay alive. It’s hard to feel miserable when you’re on the move. Instead of using drugs and alcohol as a coping mechanism, I let my natural endorphins keep my emotions in check.

I can’t be idle for too long without drowning in my own thoughts.

“I'll be a poet, and you'll be poetry.” It’s part of a poem written by the French poet François Coppée, about beauty and inspiration. And you, my angel, are my muse.

Let your mommy and daddy issues shine through, girl.

WHY IS THIS ME 🥲

Why not you? You became my muse the moment you walked into my life. You’re my biggest distraction and will probably be my downfall, but I will drag you into the darkness with me.

“Next time you put on a show like you did at the club, make sure that it’s for my fucking eyes only. Or I’ll kill every single man who looks your way and punish you for being a brat,” he threatens.

“The people we love never truly leave us when they pass. There are things in here,” he points to my temple, “and here,” he points to my heart, “that death can’t take away from you. As long as you have memories and love, you have never truly lost.”

You will obey me, even if it’s the last thing you want. If that makes me a villain, then so fucking be it. You’re mine,”

I don’t know who to trust. Mind over matter? Tell that to my throbbing vagina.

im dead 🤣

Evan is standing at the entrance of my bedroom, leaning against the door, his injured arm crossed at his chest in a sling.

WHY DID I FEEL LIKE I CAUGHT TOO 🤣

“You need to accept that you’re just as messed up as me, angel. You enjoy this torment. You yearn to be watched, pursued, and captured. You want me to destroy you in every possible way. And I will. As soon as you stop playing games,” he answers, his grip on me tighter.

“All the lights were turned off, so I thought you were sleeping. Little did I know, you were awake. Very much awake. Screaming my name.”

My composure breaks and I cry—ugly cry— for what we could’ve been. It may not have worked in our favor in the end, but now I will be haunted by the what-ifs. I know I would’ve still been worried about potentially damaging our friendship, but at the time, I would’ve jumped on the opportunity to be with him.

i want - no I NEED G TO HAVE HIS OWN BOOK. so we can see his happily ever after 🥹😭

“You are a queen—my queen—and I will bow down to you until my last breath.”

My heart swells at the thought of being that person for him, as much as he is for me. He is my person.

“Forgive me,” I pull her closer and lift her hand with the revolver to my throat, my mouth a mere inch away from hers, “or fucking kill me, Angelica. Because I won’t be able to live in a world where you hate me.”

STOPPPP. FORGIVE THIS MAN RIGHT NOW ANGELICA 😭

“I’m not perfect, but you make me want to be a better man. Let me be better for you. Give me the chance to prove I am worthy.”

“Ísai i psichí mou,” I tell her. You are my soul.

“Evan, se agapó.” I love you.