After a lifetime of running from uncomfortable memories which can trigger anxiety attacks or months of prolonged depression that shut down my life, it’s like I’ve been dropped in the ocean of everything I avoided. No land in sight, no friend to pull me to shore. I must swim through each moment and episode to keep afloat and get anywhere. Of course, maybe I did choose this, on some deeper level. Maybe a grounded, secure part of me decided, it’s time, confident that nothing I remember will actually kill me.
