On Getting Out of Bed: The Burden and Gift of Living

by Alan Noble

the experience of all human beings, ill or otherwise, are shaped by their cultural, social, and familial circumstances.

the experience of all human beings, ill or otherwise, are shaped by their cultural, social, and familial circumstances.

This book is for those who struggle with what Harrington calls “mental affliction.” It is for their friends and family members. It is for pastors, teachers, and parents—to help

This book is for those who struggle with what Harrington calls “mental affliction.” It is for their friends and family members. It is for pastors, teachers, and parents—to help

them understand their loved one’s suffering. It is for anyone who ever struggles to get out of bed.

them understand their loved one’s suffering. It is for anyone who ever struggles to get out of bed.

your life is a good gift from a loving God, even when subjectively it doesn’t feel good or like a gift, and even when you doubt that God is loving. Please get out of bed anyway.

your life is a good gift from a loving God, even when subjectively it doesn’t feel good or like a gift, and even when you doubt that God is loving. Please get out of bed anyway.

They all lived hard, hard lives where their daily experiences were either acute suffering or prolonged numbness. And these horrors were passed down to their children and their grandchildren. I don’t know where it will end.

They all lived hard, hard lives where their daily experiences were either acute suffering or prolonged numbness. And these horrors were passed down to their children and their grandchildren. I don’t know where it will end.

I didn’t believe that I was owed this normal life. But my sense of the world and of Christianity was that if I put in the work and honored God with my time, none of these good things were out of reach.

I didn’t believe that I was owed this normal life. But my sense of the world and of Christianity was that if I put in the work and honored God with my time, none of these good things were out of reach.

You know, if they just made better choices, if they were just disciplined and stopped making excuses, they wouldn’t have to suffer this way.

You know, if they just made better choices, if they were just disciplined and stopped making excuses, they wouldn’t have to suffer this way.

You can walk around for a long time thinking nonsense like this—that most adults have it together and live safe, pleasant lives, and that the ones who don’t only have themselves to blame.

You can walk around for a long time thinking nonsense like this—that most adults have it together and live safe, pleasant lives, and that the ones who don’t only have themselves to blame.

There’s a kind of unspoken conspiracy to ignore how difficult life is, or to reframe it as something romantic—a heroic challenge we overcome

There’s a kind of unspoken conspiracy to ignore how difficult life is, or to reframe it as something romantic—a heroic challenge we overcome

Almost every cultural institution, church, government, or corporation promises you a good life if you just do what they ask. Make the right life choices. Marry the right person. Go to the right church. Get the right education. Work the right job. Buy the right products. And you’ll be fine.

Almost every cultural institution, church, government, or corporation promises you a good life if you just do what they ask. Make the right life choices. Marry the right person. Go to the right church. Get the right education. Work the right job. Buy the right products. And you’ll be fine.

Whatever challenges we face can be solved. That’s society’s promise. Whatever problem you have, someone has developed a method for overcoming it.

Whatever challenges we face can be solved. That’s society’s promise. Whatever problem you have, someone has developed a method for overcoming it.

While not everyone will experience the kinds of trauma they did, suffering—even profound mental affliction and personal tragedy—is a normal part of human life. Sometimes the tragedy strikes us directly.

While not everyone will experience the kinds of trauma they did, suffering—even profound mental affliction and personal tragedy—is a normal part of human life. Sometimes the tragedy strikes us directly.

One way or another, it gets us. Once I grew close to other adults, people who had seemed to “have their lives together,” that’s what I discovered. Life is far more difficult than we let on.

One way or another, it gets us. Once I grew close to other adults, people who had seemed to “have their lives together,” that’s what I discovered. Life is far more difficult than we let on.

Think about someone you know who is living the good life: someone well dressed, confident, smiling, high achieving, maybe even attractive and intelligent and funny. Nine times out of ten, they are carrying around something unspeakably painful.

Think about someone you know who is living the good life: someone well dressed, confident, smiling, high achieving, maybe even attractive and intelligent and funny. Nine times out of ten, they are carrying around something unspeakably painful.

There are diseases and disorders and burdens you have never imagined, carried like boulders on the backs of the same people who smile and tell you that they are doing “good.” Every time you ask them, “How’s it going?” they’ll say, “Good! I’m doing good. How about you?” Maybe they don’t trust you, or they are terrified to vocalize their suffering. But maybe they just don’t know how to say how bad they feel. So why should they even try?

There are diseases and disorders and burdens you have never imagined, carried like boulders on the backs of the same people who smile and tell you that they are doing “good.” Every time you ask them, “How’s it going?” they’ll say, “Good! I’m doing good. How about you?” Maybe they don’t trust you, or they are terrified to vocalize their suffering. But maybe they just don’t know how to say how bad they feel. So why should they even try?

We may go through periods where we break down and stare blankly at our email inbox, or debate whether to get out of bed, or feel we can’t physically move, but for the most part, we function. We get up. We eat. We work. We buy things. We are entertained. We are stimulated. We sleep. But the darkness is there,

We may go through periods where we break down and stare blankly at our email inbox, or debate whether to get out of bed, or feel we can’t physically move, but for the most part, we function. We get up. We eat. We work. We buy things. We are entertained. We are stimulated. We sleep. But the darkness is there,

Living in a society governed by technique conditions us to believe that in every way life is easier than it ever has been.

Living in a society governed by technique conditions us to believe that in every way life is easier than it ever has been.

The promise of technique is that we are collectively overcoming all the challenges to life through research, technology, and discipline. All you have to do is find the right self-help book or life hack or app or life coach or devotional.

The promise of technique is that we are collectively overcoming all the challenges to life through research, technology, and discipline. All you have to do is find the right self-help book or life hack or app or life coach or devotional.

There’s always another technique I can use to fight a corrupt political system, improve my character, and compensate for my biology. So if I’m not living to my full potential, I’m to blame for not taking advantage of these methods.

There’s always another technique I can use to fight a corrupt political system, improve my character, and compensate for my biology. So if I’m not living to my full potential, I’m to blame for not taking advantage of these methods.

This is one reason why we don’t want to be honest when someone asks us how we are doing. Why admit to failure or weakness? If we tell the truth, they’ll start offering advice, recommending some new method for “fixing” our problem, for overcoming anxiety or achieving our fullest potential or whatever.

This is one reason why we don’t want to be honest when someone asks us how we are doing. Why admit to failure or weakness? If we tell the truth, they’ll start offering advice, recommending some new method for “fixing” our problem, for overcoming anxiety or achieving our fullest potential or whatever.

you’re still stuck with the reality that a normal life includes a great deal of suffering.

we sometimes think that if we just stay in bed and go back to sleep, we won’t have to face our depression, anxiety, suffering, or fears.

Each morning you must choose to get out of bed or not. All the medication and cognitive therapy and latest research and self-care in the world can’t replace your choice.

Why get out of bed? Or, more bluntly, why live?

We like to think of suicide as a singular act: intentionally ending your life.

You can destroy your life passively by being so overcome with fear of failure that you cannot move.

You can even destroy your life by giving up all hope and devoting yourself to fleeting, vacuous, mind-numbing pleasures. So this question is not primarily about what we normally think of as suicide. It includes that, but it also includes all the various ways we can deny the goodness of life and act in defiance of it—all

Like so many other uncomfortable aspects of modern life, we are well adapted to distracting ourselves from the question of life’s worth.

As long as you’re moving and doing, becoming the best version of yourself, it doesn’t feel necessary to know why life is worth living. You’re too busy living to question living.

pleasures. There’s always something new to do, experience, or buy. Any time you feel bored or distressed, you can watch previews for a new TV series. You can try a new kind of ice cream. You can find some new kind of porn or someone new to sleep with. You can watch an Apple press conference or the NFL draft. When life feels unbearable, just remember something cool is just around the corner.