Icebreaker

by Hannah Grace

I have the softest soft spot for Henry Turner, one of the sophomores on the hockey team. I was stressing over my corporate social responsibility essay in the library when he approached me last week, sporting a worried look. He introduced himself, explaining he was on the team and he’d heard what happened. He said he couldn’t tell me too much, but he wanted to explain. Then he proceeded to tell me everything about everyone.

It was going to be Henry only, forever.

“I’m sorry, it’s not okay that I did that. Can we start again?” Brady’s whistle blows for the final time, but he doesn’t move. He waits for me to answer, his brown eyes practically staring into my freaking soul. “You’re on probation.” I sigh. Heat creeps back to my cheeks when he gives me the brightest smile. “I’m gonna nail it.” “You better.” Shit, shit, shit.

Looking at her makes me want to be the funniest guy in the room, so I can be the one to make her laugh. But I’m going to have to settle for her not scowling at me for now.

“I said you were on probation, not me.” I tut playfully. “I’m going to teach you how to be nice.” “I’m sure there are plenty of things you can teach me, Nathan, but being nice isn’t one of them. I’m a delight.”

“What if I’m trying to escape you?” “You definitely don’t need my help. You’re on, like, expert level now or something.” She laughs and, my God, that noise. I’ve never enjoyed making someone laugh as much as I do with her. It’s because she makes me work for every laugh and smile—the competitive side of me buzzes when I manage it.

“Ask me nicely. Let me show you how much I like it when you’re nice.” “Why would I do that when I don’t like you?” Her words are strong, but her delivery is strained and wispy, giving her away. “You don’t have to like me to scream my name, Anastasia.”

Anastasia Unbothered Allen.

Swapping to the heel of his palm, his other hand tightens in my hair. “One day, I’m going to fuck your pretty little mouth, and you’re not going to be able to be such a bossy, impatient little brat.”

“Stop looking at my ass, Hawkins.” “Stop having an ass that looks like that.”

“I’m jealous because I want you all to myself, Stassie, and I’m jealous of any guy you freely give your attention to. I’m even jealous of Henry, for fuck’s sake, and I love that kid.”

I wait until he’s fast asleep before requesting the Uber.

“Mhmm. That’s boring… I want to be… slut from the Uber… No, that’s a little long. Uber Slut. Perfect.” I couldn’t help the snort. “You can’t be serious, Anastasia,” I challenged, but she was already tapping away happily. So now, I’m stuck trying to get hold of Uber Slut.

She’s floating around the rink between the guys, and I feel like I’m trying to catch a fucking butterfly.

“It’s a shame you’re so far away and won’t be back by midnight.” I sigh dramatically, enjoying every second of this. “I think I’ll go downstairs and find someone else to be bratty with. Safe travels, Hawkins.” “Anastasia, wa—”

Convincing Nate’s friends to mess with him was easy.

It’s not anger, it’s deeper than that. Agonizing and maddening, igniting me like fire. I think it’s jealousy. Shit.

I clean up the corner of my mouth with my thumb, licking it clean. “I still feel bratty,” I tease. “And impatient.”

“I know they only want the best for me.” “It’s normal to understand something logically but emotionally feel something different. Loving someone but feeling relief not speaking to them, it’s a huge conflict in a person’s mind, but it doesn’t make you bad in any way, it makes you human.”

“I would encourage you to remember while everyone has progress to make, it’s important for you to make sure you prioritize your well-being. Friendships are important, but so is living in a healthy environment.”

“Nathan, will you play house with me?” “Always.”

“I can’t believe you think I could ever reject you, Anastasia,” he said in shock. “You have no idea, do you? The lengths I’d go to if you’d let me. What I’d do to make you happy.”

“I don’t care what you call me as long as I’m at the top of the list.” How the hell am I supposed to get through this six days a week?

“Why do you look like you’re having a crisis?” Because I am? “Pay attention. I’m not explaining this again.”

We train together, brush our teeth side by side, and cook the same meals. I have no clue what we are, but I like it. We’ve taken playing house to the next level.

There is something about learning the tough, muscular hockey player’s favorite movie is Coco. It does funny things to your insides.

He misses his mom

There’s a warm, full feeling in my heart when I’m around this team. It’s unfamiliar but familiar at the same time; a contradiction, I know, but so specific that it feels like it was specifically designed for me. It’s the feeling I didn’t know I needed until these guys crashed their way into my life three months ago.

Fuck you, calorie app.

Fuck. I am so in love with this woman.

I’m slowly making my peace with the fact that my friendship with Aaron has taken all the strain it can handle. I can no longer be a doormat for a broken man to dump his emotional baggage on when he refuses to even attempt to help himself.

hope we last. I need us to last. Going from frenemies to lovers in three months wasn’t something I ever thought would happen. But despite my best efforts, I’m so freaking in love with this man.

“I love a woman who enjoys reading.”

“Hold your arms up,” I tell him, fiddling with the hem of the T-shirt he’s wearing. He does as I ask, sitting forward slightly and holding his arms above his head so I can pull the T-shirt off. He leans back against the pillows, letting me trail my fingers across the smooth, warm planes of his stomach, all the way down to his sweatpants. Gray, obviously, because Nathan Hawkins is a man who was most definitely written by a woman.

And when the applause starts, that’s when Aaron takes her face in his hands and kisses her.

Having had no choice but to wash all the salt water out of my hair, I made the critical post-shower error of sitting on the bed in my towel, with a bag of barbecue Lays and my phone. I’m now up to date with what everyone I’ve ever followed is doing, but I unfortunately have no clothes on and damp, frizzy hair.