Like a River: Finding the Faith and Strength to Move Forward after Loss and Heartache

by Granger Smith

I’ve lost my River. What should I do? Tree: Shed your dead leaves. Don’t hang on to a single one. Drop the burden. New leaves will then have space to grow when the season changes, freeing you of the weight while at the same time preserving the future of your forest. Be thankful that your soil has been enriched by your River along with the fallen leaves and branches of your ancestors. Use your unique soil and the roots of those closest to you to hold you in perfect balance as you keep reaching up, up, up toward the light.

But here’s the problem—I thought I was building a solid dam, but life is like a river that can’t be contained. I wish I hadn’t learned this the hard way, but I’m sharing my story so that maybe you don’t.

Dad knew that in order to raise three men, he needed to be the man. And he was. I’m not talking about domination, control, intimidation, fear tactics, or leverage. I’m talking about leading with wisdom for the benefit of the entire family.

These stories and comments not only triggered added emotional pain for us but also confirmed the fact that social media in general provides an unhealthy platform where strangers can hide behind a keyboard and inflict what could be life-threatening damage on their target.

Looking back now, I know that true healing is connected with our willingness to run through the pain, not away from it. But I didn’t know that yet, much less know what it meant.

When grieving, two people are rarely on the same grief schedule. Some days one person is really struggling and the other is not, while other days the roles unpredictably reverse. It is such a great thing to be able to lean on each other when one is weaker and the other is stronger.

You have to understand that this was not the plan I’d made for my life. The public platform I was so busy building wasn’t based on anything spiritual, unless you see God through a cracked windshield, a backroad, and a pickup truck. Okay, I’ll admit, there is something spiritual about that too.

Generally, self-help teaches that the problem is outside us and the solution comes from within. The Bible teaches that the problem comes from within and the solution is outside us.