Like a River: Finding the Faith and Strength to Move Forward after Loss and Heartache

by Granger Smith

When grief is really bad, it’s a reflection of a love that was really great. The deeper you love someone, the more you’ll grieve their loss.

Pain is not permanent. Pain is not pointless.

My arms were tired of rowing against the rough river. I needed help, or else I wasn’t going to make it.

Why does social media enthrall us so much? Don’t we know from my story and countless others that it’s all a lie? We only post things the way we want everyone else to perceive it. Sure, it can be lined in truth, but we still pick only the best photo with the best lighting from our best side. We edit the caption and then edit it again until it reads exactly like what we hope everyone believes about us.

Life is a stage for all of us. At some level, we’re all performing on it all the time; but the truth is, everyone is hurting from something—even the people you think have it all together.

I started slow and built habits, but then the habits became addictions.

What would make a difference to those left behind?

To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;

To appreciate beauty; To find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived; This is to have succeeded.2

To find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; To know even one life has breathed easier be...

I know that true healing is connected with our willingness to run through the pain, not away from it.

I could never move on from the loss of my son, but I could still move forward by my own power and embrace his memory as a reminder to live life the way he would’ve wanted me to.

I fasted for twenty-four hours before that meal to make sure that I had a clear mind and body to be better equipped to live presently and not dwell on the past. (I had learned that constructive technique before we shared the first Thanksgiving meal after Dad passed.)

Sometimes we need a new perspective and a new parachute.

When grieving, two people are rarely on the same grief schedule.

All at once it occurred to me that we were asking the wrong prayer. In our time of desperation we were only pleading for our own earthly desires.

We never considered God’s will. We were praying for control of our own boat in the immediate turbulence, but we never once asked for harmony with the river’s Source.

Oh God, we desperately want You to heal this child. You are a miracle worker, and You absolutely have the power. But give this family the strength and peace to rest in Your will, not ours. We trust whatever Your plan is today. And we will rejoice, even through our deepest sorrow, knowing that Your purpose is far greater than ours. Sometimes sickness is for healing, and other times it’s for homecoming. We beg for healing today. But if You don’t

heal this boy on earth, heal the hearts of this family.

“God makes all the babies. But sometimes man has to plant the seed.”

Obedient to a purpose far greater than we could understand, we began our new journey, but it was never smooth sailing. All the earthly odds were not in our favor, but that didn’t matter anymore. The Source of the river was.

the tears of joy were indistinguishable from the tears of grief.

Matthew 19:26, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

Man can plant the seed, but only God grows the tree.

Give me new desires only for the eternal things, not the earthly ones. Increase my faith in You and not on my own understanding. Remove any illusion that this home is forever . . . because it’s not. Once again, God, renew me. And He did.

In fact, nothing matters at all until we finally realize that all things are temporary on this earth. When we understand that, we see these things for exactly what they are—small glimpses of the greatest gift: an eternal dwelling in the presence of the river’s Source. If His gifts are so good, and it hurts so much to miss them, what would it be like to meet the Giver of these gifts? I can’t even imagine.

If we never lost any of the gifts of life, how could we really understand how precious they are? How could we possibly know about the brilliance of light if there were no darkness to contrast it?

In the world you will have tribulation.” Jesus continued with a resolution for us: “But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

Living with struggles today gives us another reason to worship God—the One who came to take away the sting of those struggles—because we know they are not the final word.

There is such healing in letting go. It breathes new life into every aspect of life. When I let go of River, God gave us Maverick. When I let go of my forever home, God directed my steps to a new, amazing little

farm. When I let go of music, it stopped feeling like a job and started to feel like a ministry opportunity. When I let go of the old vision for my family, God opened the door for a new family construct. When I stopped trying to hold on to my own plans for my life, I realized God’s plans were far better.

loss is our teacher. Loss reminds us that nothing here is permanent. When we spend all our time clinging to something, trying to control and preserve it, we miss out on the beauty of what God is doing in our lives. Like navigating a river, we need to let go, surrender, and trust that God’s plan for our lives is better than our plan.

If you learn anything from this book, let it be this: ditch your oars and burn the boat. No matter how much mental strength and

endurance you think you have, when you meet the waterfall that eventually comes to us all, oars and a boat won’t help you. The only thing you’ll be able to trust is God and His Word, the Bible.

We pray—that’s us talking. And we read the Bible—that’s

that’s God talking back to us.

God, open my eyes to the truth that I need to see today. Reveal to me Your wisdom, and open my heart to understand it.

Generally, self-help teaches that the problem is outside us and the solution comes from within. The Bible teaches that the problem comes from within and the solution is outside us.

I’m not unique. I’m certainly not deserving of grace, and there are only two words that can complete that thought—But God.

After everything God has fulfilled in my life since I’ve surrendered to his plan, would I dare question his sufficiency now?