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Red Mask’s fingers circle a baseball bat that’s resting nonchalantly on his shoulder. Green Mask is holding a bow and has arrows with rubber points in a quiver that’s slung over his back. White Mask strokes a huge chain that’s draped around his hands like a snake. Orange Mask’s gloved hand rests on top of a metal golf club that’s propped on the ground. Yellow Mask has no weapon at all, but his fists are balled.
His movements are sure, oozing with a frightening amount of control. And power. There’s so much power in every motion. Every action. Every sliver of a decision he makes. He didn’t even wait for his club to hit Five. He knew it would, and it did, as evidenced by the participant’s motionless body on the ground.
Orange Mask rises to his impressive height that nearly eats up the horizon, then slowly, too slowly, his head tilts in my direction. The neon stitches glow in the near darkness as eerie silence stakes its claim. My spine jerks when his rough, deep voice echoes in the air. “I know you’re hiding. Come out and I promise not to hurt you. Much.”
My thoughts are confirmed when he stares at me over his shoulder, his eyes still in tune with the night, tapering and shimmering with that mystic darkness. If anything, they appear more unhinged.
I don’t believe in people. They’re fickle, prone to mistakes, and have no clue what the fuck they’re doing most of the time. They’re useless, tasteless, and shouldn’t pollute the air with their breaths. This disdain I have for people has been inherent in me ever since I grew out of my child phase and gradually found out what the world is all about.
He’s shirtless, again. Like me, he was wearing a leather jacket when we went out on the ride, but he threw it down somewhere. The guy is allergic to clothes—it’s a miracle he at least has pants on. It’s also his way of displaying the extravagant tattoos that cover his chest and arms.
“I knew you were my favorite. When do we start?” “Patience, Niko.” “That word doesn’t belong in my limited vocabulary.”
That dull, maybe not so dull, person has gotten herself the worst type of attention. Mine.
“You look so innocent, but that head of yours is a fucked-up place, Lisichka. My fucked-up place.”
I want to own you, Cecily, every part of you, what you show and what you hide beneath self-imposed shackles. I won’t stop until you’re fully, thoroughly, and undeniably mine.”
for the first time since I stumbled into Jeremy’s path, I realize just how screwed I am. Because this man won’t stop. No matter how far I run or how well I hide, he’ll flip the world upside down just to find me. He doesn’t want me for me. He wants me due to his fixation on me or whatever image he’s created of me in his twisted head.
At the top of his chest, he has a cursive scrip tattoo that reads, Veni, Vidi, Vici. I came. I saw. I conquered.
“I’m not your property, Jeremy. I’m a person.” “My person,” he nearly growls the words.
I keep staring at that emoji longer than I did the first one. “Is something wrong?” Ilya asks from his position behind the steering wheel. “What does a sparkling heart emoji mean?” Ilya stares at me for a beat, looking stunned for the first time ever, before he focuses back on the road. “Uh, don’t all the heart emojis mean love and affection?” “But it has sparkles around it. They should mean something else.” “I’m not sure.” I’m not sure why I’m focusing on this either. I’m used to Annika sending a newspaper of emojis stickers and GIFs in her texts. And they’re often filled with all sorts of
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“He’s not interested in me anymore.” He stares at me as if I’ve grown an extra head. “Not interested in you? On what planet have you been living, Cecily? The guy stalks you like a creep and actually smiles while he does it—honest to fucking God thought he didn’t know how. He’s also developed some bizarre fetish about removing anyone who poses an obstacle to you. That teacher who was giving preferential treatment to his friend’s kid? Jeremy was the reason he asked to transfer. Those American football players who stole and slashed your textbooks? Jeremy eliminated them. Those guys at the club
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There’s no way I’ll ever let Cecily go. No matter what she does, no matter what my demons say. No matter how the fuck it goes from then on. I’ll simply abduct her, keep her, and make her a part of me so that she’s unable to leave.
“I’m not a nice man, Cecily. I won’t pretend otherwise, or I’d be doing you and myself a disservice. What I am, however, is someone who’ll slaughter your demons one by one until you’re finally free of them. I’ll touch your scars until you normalize them and can live with them, because they’re part of what makes you who you are.”
Deep down, if she was given the choice, she’d never choose me. Which is why she’ll never fucking have that choice.
“Did you see me back then?” “I have always seen you.”
“What if…what if…we’d never met?” “We would’ve sooner or later.” “How do you know?” “You were always meant to be mine, Cecily.” Nothing else could explain this raging need to own her, keep her, and never let her leave me, even if I have to sacrifice a limb for it.
She calms the beast I spent years hiding beneath the surface. She tames and placates him like no one else has been able to. I’ve always been shackled by an inheritance to one of the most powerful organizations and that means I’ve needed to count every step. Strategize every plan. Plot every decision. Not with her. She’s the only person whose company I feel free in. There’s no sense of duty nor a weight on my shoulders. There’s just me and her. Cecily Knight is the calm in a loud, chaotic world.
Papa remodeled the kitchen into a chef’s dream when I was a toddler. It’s full of stainless-steel equipment, a large food-prep area, and it’s green-themed like Mum.
I snuck out of his room like a thief, then mistakenly walked in on Killian and Glyn making out in the game room and on Nikolai floating in the pool wearing nothing but boxers. I thought he was dead, so I frantically called Ilya, but it turns out, the incident was normal for the guy.
I’ve met someone who convinced me not to deflect the blame inward. Ever since then, my own head doesn’t torture me as much and I’ve started to feel safe. I no longer have panic attacks and the instances of sleep paralysis have become few and far between.” Mum’s hand falls from my cheek to my shoulder, and a warm smile peeks through. “Is that someone the American boy?” I rub the side of my nose and nod. “His name is Jeremy.”
“I don’t want to let him go.” “Why not?” “Because I love him.” Mum smiles and I pause at the words that left my mouth so easily, so naturally, without my even having to think about it. It’s true. I love Jeremy.
“Kim, love, where’s my grandfather’s hunting shotgun? I found some bastard on our doorstep who claims to be our daughter’s boyfriend… Oh, here it is. Be right back. I’ll shoot him and come back in time for dinner.”
There’s some lizard in front of my house. One with a repulsive look in his eyes, an unwelcome presence, and presumptuous words coming out of his mouth. He has no business being here, so I’ll hastily get rid of him, throw him in the nearest ditch, then join my beautiful wife and daughter. It’s only taken me a minute to grab my grandfather’s hunting shotgun, and when I storm back to the door, the lizard has let himself in and even locked the door behind him.
“I see nothing sweet about him exploiting my daughter to fill his stomach. That’s called free labor.” “Oh, please. Is it free labor if I cook for you?” “That’s different. You don’t have to.” “I don’t have to either, Papa.” Cecily strokes my arm. “I just like cooking with him.” “That’s called Stockholm syndrome.” Cecily laughs as if I’m being ridiculous. “He didn’t kidnap me.” “I wouldn’t be surprised if he did. He looks like the type. Also, there doesn’t need to be a kidnapping for the syndrome to happen.”
Levi is my friend, but that son of his should’ve been in a mental institute along with Aiden’s son, Eli, the moment they were born.
“I know.” He stares at my daughter, whose eyes glitter at her mother’s words. “She listened to me like no one else has.”
Cecily brought some fucker home. Levi I told you this day would happen. I lost Glyn to some arsehole, and now, you’re losing Cecy. I didn’t lose her. By the time he leaves my house, he’ll be her ex-boyfriend. Levi That’s what I said, too, about Glyn’s tool of a boyfriend, but he’s more pasted to her side than superglue. Aiden The fuck is wrong with you two? It’s time to stop treating your girls like they’re nine-year-olds. Levi No daughter. No opinion. Cole What Captain said, King. Aiden I’m here with the popcorn for the double trouble both your daughters will bring you, Nash. Cole There will
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Hello? I’m telling you that I’m losing my daughter, and her mother, too, since she’s team arsehole, and you’re joking? Ronan Wait a fucking minute. Cecy is really not going to be my daughter-in-law? Aw, I thought she was always meant to be with Remi. Levi No ‘one’ is meant to be with Remi. He needs a harem. The Remi who fucks every girl in a skirt like his father once upon a time? No, thanks. Ronan Don’t act high and mighty when you were the same, Xan. Cole He was not. Aiden Yeah, Astor. Remember that human rights violation case? Oh, wait, you were the last to know. Ronan Very funny. Not. I’m
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“You’ll never be out of my sight again, Cecily.” The possessive finality in his tone causes my mouth to go dry, and I swallow a few times. “What if I have to be out of your sight?” “That won’t happen.”
I can’t live without the way he hugs me, how his fingers stroke my shoulder, or how he kisses the top of my head.
“No one will hurt you anymore, Cecily. You have my word.”
and Killian—who only showed up because he likes to think that he’s joined to his girlfriend at the hip.
“I still don’t trust you to treat my Cecy right.” “That’s where you’re wrong. She’s my Cecy. Not yours.”
I resist the urge to stroke the freckles beneath her eyes. The one hundred fifty-three of them. And yes, I counted them.
Killian snaps a picture of the scene, or more accurately, of Brandon, who’s ignoring the chaos unfolding around him, elbow on the table and his chin leaning on his hand. He’s checking his phone with a bored expression plastered all over his face. A Cheshire cat grin lifts Killian’s lips as he sends the picture to the group chat. Only a second passes before the reply comes. Nikolai Where the fuck are you, Satan’s heir? Killian Expanding my options?
Nikolai I’m not your fucking dog, motherfucker. Also, I just found out where that place is. Prepare to meet your maker in fifteen.
“Run,” I whisper. “This time, don’t let me find you.” “Jeremy…” “Run!” I roar.
“I’ll ask for your opinion when I find any fucks to give,” I tell her point-blank.
“At first, she reminded me of Mom. She had these moments when she’d grow lethargic and escape into her mind, essentially turning into a ghost. I couldn’t help Mom when she was in that state, but I wanted to help Cecily. Now that I think about it, that was the first time I’ve taken so much interest in someone who isn’t family. I just wanted to make it better and own her at the same time. That plan backfired, but I was still able to take care of the reason for those blackouts. With time, it became so much more. I thought I was saving her, but it turns out, she was saving me from my own
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“Cecily told me that. She also told me not to blame Mom, because if she’d had the choice, she wouldn’t have become a ghost. And she loved us enough to fight her demons and return to us.” Huh. I think I like this girl.
I can’t stop crying. Every time I try to, my heart squeezes, and my eyes fill with tears until I think I have none left. But I do.
“I would never do that. I’d hurt myself before hurting you.” “You already did, Jeremy! Maybe not physically, but you pierced my heart open with your rejection. And I can’t do this anymore. I can’t forgive you when I’m scared of what you’ll do to my feelings at the slightest hint of trouble or if you see Lan near me again. You know, when I was lying on the floor, feeling the nightmare restart all over again, my heart was heavy with the pain you inflicted. I can’t live in fear for the rest of my life, Jeremy. I just can’t.” His face hardens with each of my words as if he can feel them instead of
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Xander got me drunk so I’d spill my secrets. I told him I wouldn’t leave his daughter even if I died, and he smacked me upside the head.
I just want to have her because I simply can’t imagine life without her.
“Does that mean you forgive me?” I go with Ilya’s stupid plan. “I think I forgave you a long time ago.” She digs her nails into my back. “Then why were you giving me the cold shoulder?” “Because I was scared of getting hurt again, because you’re the only one who’s able to hurt me.” “I won’t hurt you, Cecily.”
I tug her away so that I’m staring at her tear-streaked face. “You’re the fire to my icy heart, and while I loathed that at the beginning, I soon came to the realization that I can’t survive without that fire. My feelings for you are nowhere near conventional. They’re neither proportional nor measurable, and that heart you melted and the emotions you provoked belong to you. I’d rather be smashed and broken to pieces with you than be whole without you. I’d rather remain a beast for you than become a man who has to survive without you.”
