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Red Mask’s fingers circle a baseball bat that’s resting nonchalantly on his shoulder. Green Mask is holding a bow and has arrows with rubber points in a quiver that’s slung over his back. White Mask strokes a huge chain that’s draped around his hands like a snake. Orange Mask’s gloved hand rests on top of a metal golf club that’s propped on the ground. Yellow Mask has no weapon at all, but his fists are balled.
Orange Mask rises to his impressive height that nearly eats up the horizon, then slowly, too slowly, his head tilts in my direction. The neon stitches glow in the near darkness as eerie silence stakes its claim. My spine jerks when his rough, deep voice echoes in the air. “I know you’re hiding. Come out and I promise not to hurt you. Much.”
I meet his blank eyes with my determined ones. You can’t hurt me. Much.
I’ve never been the type who asked my friends for help or told them about what I struggled with. Everyone sees me as the mother figure, the problem solver, and the listener. Whenever I yearn to be listened to instead, nails dig into my chest, forbidding me from moving. From finding refuge in anyone but myself and fictional characters that don’t exist and have little chance of offering practical advice.
Ava’s eyes narrow to slits, barely allowing any of the blue to peek through. “You’re going to do something fun without me, aren’t you?” “No.” My voice is high-pitched, uneasy, and sounds absolutely terrible. “You totally are.” She headlocks me teasingly. “How can you leave me all alone? Do you have it in your heart to let me flounder in misery by myself?” I poke her in the ribs. “Stop being needy.”
I go up on my tiptoes to get a better view of outside, but there’s no sign of that little shit Ava. I pull out my phone and tap the Find My Child app. What? She really is a kid when drunk, and I had to install this app to be able to find her in situations like this.
“So this is how good girls like you get off. Does being used in the middle of the night like a worthless fuckable hole turn you on, Lisichka?”
My thoughts are confirmed when he stares at me over his shoulder, his eyes still in tune with the night, tapering and shimmering with that mystic darkness. If anything, they appear more unhinged. “Come back when you’re ready to be fucked properly.”
“Won’t they become harder to deal with when they multiply?” “On the contrary. We can take them out when they’re gathered in one place.” A slow grin stretches his lips. “I knew you were my favorite. When do we start?” “Patience, Niko.” “That word doesn’t belong in my limited vocabulary.” Don’t I know it.
That dull, maybe not so dull, person has gotten herself the worst type of attention. Mine.
He shakes his head as if expelling an unpleasant thought. “Tell me all about school. Is everything okay? Is anyone bothering you? Do you have a boyfriend, and does he know that if he touches you, his parents will lose a son? Or maybe it’s a girlfriend, who still shouldn’t touch you unless her parents are ready to lose a daughter?” “Papa!” “What? I need to cover all the bases. You haven’t dated any guys since secondary school, so I thought maybe you’d realized you play for a different team. But you would’ve told me, right? You know I would support you no matter what, right?” I raise a brow.
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I planned to end the night as usual—watch from afar and gather clues, but then she stuck earbuds in her ears and some assholes thought it was a good idea to follow her. Only I am allowed to do that.
“Why are we whispering?” She matches my tone. “And who is he?” “The devil,” I say in a hoarse voice, then gasp. “He disappeared and I hate it.” “Is this about Lan?” She frowns. “He’s seriously bad news, Cecy. I thought you were over him by now.” “Are you over Eli?” She purses her lips. “In this house, we don’t speak of He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named.”
“No wonder you like to be chased when you touch yourself this gently. How about I show you how it’s properly done, Lisichka?”
“You look so innocent, but that head of yours is a fucked-up place, Lisichka. My fucked-up place.”
“You must be out of your mind if you think I’ll help you again after you instigated arson.” “Shh. They think it was the Serpents’ doing. They even burned their warehouse and beat them to a pulp for revenge. I finished my popcorn so fast while watching that particular show.”
“Over?” He takes a step forward, trapping me against my car as a twitch lifts his lips. “We’re just getting started, Cecily.”
Despite the normal ingredients and the canned tuna, there’s something special about it that I can’t put my finger on. Maybe it is drugs, after all. So I take another bite and another. Just to make sure.
“What happens after we eat?” “We’re still eating.” “I know. I’m asking about what comes after.” “You need to learn how to live in the moment sometimes. Being too future-oriented will only lead you to the grave.” “Thanks for the unsolicited advice.” “You’re welcome.” “That was sarcasm.” “I know. Doesn’t suit you, but I digress.”
It hits me then. Lan never belonged to anyone but himself.
In one entry, she wrote ‘Get over it, Cecily’ a hundred times, and those words were splashed with tear marks. That fucker will cry tears of blood instead.
“And you think I do care?” I ask like a dick. She rubs the side of her nose with her index finger. Fucking adorable. “Sometimes.” Sometimes is enough. For now. I was so intent on leaving earlier, but instead, I do something I’ve never done before. I stay.
Anni narrows her eyes—bright blue-grays that are nothing like her brother’s intense ones. “What were you thinking about so intently that you totally door-slammed me?” Your brother.
“I’m not your property, Jeremy. I’m a person.” “My person,” he nearly growls the words. “Next time you let anyone touch you, I’ll fuck you in their blood and make you come all over their corpse.”
I keep staring at that emoji longer than I did the first one. “Is something wrong?” Ilya asks from his position behind the steering wheel. “What does a sparkling heart emoji mean?” Ilya stares at me for a beat, looking stunned for the first time ever, before he focuses back on the road. “Uh, don’t all the heart emojis mean love and affection?” “But it has sparkles around it. They should mean something else.” “I’m not sure.”
Ava smiles. “I’m glad you’re regaining your old self, even if slowly. And while I’m not sure if Jeremy is good enough for you, if he makes you smile while looking at his texts, then it’s a start. I’ll totally kick him in the nuts if he hurts you. He might kill me, but I will have died for a good cause.” “You’re saying that as if Eli would let him put a finger on you.” “Shhh. Not He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named.” She squints, then her eyes widen. “Oh, fuck.” “What?” “Remember the tidbit about how things are slowly coming back to me?” “Yeah?” “I think He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named was at the club.” She
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“My feelings for him don’t matter. He cut me off.” “That son of a bitch.” Ava jerks up to a standing position. “Glyn, you have access to the Heathens’ mansion, right? Tell your boyfriend to give us his best gun.” “I don’t think he’ll approve of us killing his friend.” Glyn narrows her eyes. “But we can do it behind his back, because Jeremy is a prick who has no business hurting Ces’s feelings.” “Let’s decapitate him.” Glyn interlinks her arm with Ava’s and shouts, “A la guillotine!”
“Are you psychoanalyzing me?” I smile down at her. “It’s a turn-on.”
Unless I actually call a character hot or cute, then he definitely starts questioning if maybe he should get rid of them. Jealous of a fictional character, check.
“I’m not a nice man, Cecily. I won’t pretend otherwise, or I’d be doing you and myself a disservice. What I am, however, is someone who’ll slaughter your demons one by one until you’re finally free of them. I’ll touch your scars until you normalize them and can live with them, because they’re part of what makes you who you are.”
“Actually.” Cecily steps forward and stands beside me. “We do. Didn’t you bring me here to meet your friends?” No, I fucking didn’t. In fact, I kept her away from this place so she wouldn’t see these assholes. “What she said.” Gareth smiles at her. “We’re having dinner in a bit. Will you join?” “No,” I say. “Sure,” she says at the same time. I glare at her, and she glares right back. I lean over to whisper, “We always have dinner, just the two of us.” “Not today,” she whispers back. “Don’t fuck with me, Cecily. We’re leaving.” “No, we’re not. I thought I was more boring than a nun.” She flips
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Papa’s voice comes from the entrance. “Kim, love, where’s my grandfather’s hunting shotgun? I found some bastard on our doorstep who claims to be our daughter’s boyfriend… Oh, here it is. Be right back. I’ll shoot him and come back in time for dinner.”
“This is Jeremy, and he’s…my boyfriend.” “You’ll be boy dead if you don’t step away from my daughter. Now.” “That museum-looking thing isn’t even loaded,” he comments dryly. “Doesn’t need to be loaded if I hit you upside the head with it.” I storm in his direction to do just that, but Kim holds me back, and my traitor daughter has subtly stood in front of serial killer/gangster/lizard Jeremy.
“You guys cook together?” Kim asks with a dreamy grin as if this is some happy occasion. “Most of the time, we do, yeah.” “That’s so sweet. Hear that, Xan?” “I see nothing sweet about him exploiting my daughter to fill his stomach. That’s called free labor.” “Oh, please. Is it free labor if I cook for you?” “That’s different. You don’t have to.” “I don’t have to either, Papa.” Cecily strokes my arm. “I just like cooking with him.” “That’s called Stockholm syndrome.”
“You’re not supposed to be here,” says me, who was planning to sneak into his room not two seconds ago. “I know.” “You’re not even supposed to be in London.” “I know.” “You could’ve at least told me you were coming so I’d be mentally prepared.” “I know.” “Do you have anything to say aside from I know?” “You’ll never be out of my sight again, Cecily.”
“Why haven’t you told me?” Her voice is brittle and so fucking sad, it cuts me open. “Told you what?” “That you’re sick. You’re dying?” She all but bursts out crying, her tiny frame shaking, her choked breathing filling the air. Ilya steps out of the car next, looking absolutely calm. “I’m dying?” I mouth. “I had to do something. It’s boring to watch whatever foreplay this is.”
“Does that mean you’ll love me again?” “I never stopped, idiot.” “Even if I’m dying?” She cries harder. “Don’t say that! Medicine is so advanced these days, and there’s surely a solution.” “You’d love a man with a few months to live?” “I wouldn’t have any other man.” More tears. More sniffles. I grab her face and kiss her mouth deeply, and she grabs on to me as she welcomes me home. Her body falls into mine, and everything in her melts. I kiss her for all the times I couldn’t kiss her. I kiss her until we’re breathing each other in. When I pull back, I whisper against her mouth, “I’m not
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“Jeremy,” I whisper and kiss his lips. “Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy.” “Fuck, Cecily. You’re going to be the death of me.” “Just like you’re going to be mine.” “Tell me you love me.” “I love you, Jeremy,” I murmur. “Am I the only one you love?” “Only you.” I touch his cheek, melting when he leans into my touch. “Do you love me?” “I’m fucking crazy about you, Lisichka. I love you more than words can express.”
