I see this same phenomenon with my patients—women who have subtle or not-so-subtle anger lurking under the surface. Historically, our culture has not allowed women to feel their anger, and because of this, instead of turning toward their very real feelings of rage, my patients spend time asking if they are allowed to feel this way—if their feelings of anger are justified. The thing is, that’s not how feelings work. Feelings are not rational actors. They just are. It’s our job to learn how to feel them, and then we can decide if we want to take action based on them.
