Let Your Hearts Be Light (Christmas Daddies, #1)

by Fae Quin

For anyone who needs a little extra holiday magic.

Baxter was…sunshine. I hated sunshine.

Paxton Montgomery singing a carol was laughable at best. The man was…for lack of a better word. Well… Grumpy.

Paul Bunyan. But sexy. And mean. Ugh, he was just my type.

Paxton had been nothing but a total dick to me the entire time I’d known him. He was, however, super hot. Unfortunately being hot didn’t excuse dickery though.

When Paxton Montgomery walked into the kitchen, it was like my heart stuttered to life again.

When I glanced up at him I saw that he was chewing on his own smile. He looked…handsome like that. Softer. Like his ice was melting just a little every day. A glacier that warmed beneath the beams of summer sunlight.

Paxton wasn’t who I thought he was. But, that wasn’t such a bad thing, actually. He was soft. Kind. Steady as the tide. Solid as a mountain. I…liked that.

So sweet. So fucking sweet. Sweet as the things he baked. Sweeter even. His hair was honey, his skin was spun sugar, and I couldn’t help but crave him in a way that was so terrifying I had no idea what to do with it.

The freckles on his nose were less noticeable in this light but I counted them nonetheless. One, two, three, four—ten, twelve, fifteen. Constellations.

Growing up meant realizing the adults you idolized were just as freaked the fuck out as you were; they just knew how to hide it better.

Baxter didn’t hesitate. He kissed me. His lips tasted like sugar. Sweet as the cookies he baked. Delicious. Addicting. Magical.

My pretty little sweetheart. God, if I had more time I’d show him everything. Show him the fucking world.

“Cuz you’re sweet as honey. And you’re always buzzing around. Yellow too.” Paxton reached up with one of his hands to pluck at my hair and I laughed, more than a little charmed. Honey bee. That was cute. Really fucking cute.

I didn’t know what to call what…this was. All I knew was that my heart hadn’t felt this light in years. In fact, I’d never felt butterflies like this. Twisting, trembling, writhing in my belly as I stared down at the flutter of Baxter’s lashes and I tried not to fall completely in love with him.

Mine, my heart promised. Mine.

In some ways it was almost like I was teaching him what it felt like to lean on someone else. Which made me incredibly happy—considering the fact that lately it seemed all I did was search for his steady presence like a compass drawn north.

Paxton looked at me like I was spun from gold. It was frightening. Amazing. Wonderful. I’d never had someone else look at me that way before.

He was kind, fair. Sweet. His affection was quiet as a winter morning but warm enough to burn when you knew where to look.

I liked him growly. I liked him mean—my big teddy bear turned feral.

“I know we haven’t known each other long,” Paxton said softly. “But I’m the kinda guy who doesn’t give up when he finds something he wants.” I kissed his thumb again. “I want you, Baxter. I want you when you’re sad, when you’re happy, when you’re worried, when you’re old and gray and covered in wrinkles.”

It wasn’t lost on me how excited I was to cream-pie my baker.

Waiting for the other shoe to fall wouldn’t prepare me for when it did. It was better to remain present, to find magic in the things that were happening to me and not focus too much on what could happen to ruin them.

I thought of evergreen eyes, a freckled nose, and laugh lines. I thought of days spent snuggled in bed avoiding work, of laughter, of warmth and care. I thought about coming home to fuzzy sweaters, matching pajamas, and cocoa-filled thermoses. I thought of Baxter. “I love him.”

I realized, in that moment, with snowflakes decorating his cold pink nose as he sniffled and shuffled closer that there was nothing I wanted more in this world than to make him smile every day for the rest of my life.

I’d never been the kind of person who loved fast or fell hard. But Baxter was an avalanche I was gladly walking toward.

He was my constant. The moon that rose every night.

“I guess what I’m tryin’ to say is that I’m in love with Baxter Baker.”

His eyes said, let me love you. They said, I’m sorry I’m not better. They said, I’m proud to call you mine. They said, give me a chance to show you.

Every step forward was a step in the right direction.

My heart shuddered and I pulled him tighter against me so I could absorb his warmth inside my soul and let the sweetness of his words seep inside my own cracks. Maybe it would take us both a long time to heal. Maybe we never would. But in that moment, all I felt was sunshine as we clung together, and the shadows in our hearts grew light.

Most of all, I loved the fact he’d chosen to lean on me, to trust me. To let me into his heart. To let me love and protect him the way he did me.

Paxton made me feel young again, like all the years I’d spent in limbo had coalesced into the flutter of my butterfly wings as I escaped my cocoon.

Forever would never be long enough, but it was a good start.