Let Your Hearts Be Light (Christmas Daddies, #1)

by Fae Quin

“I’m not happy.” I stared at him, suddenly unafraid, despite the way his brows lowered and his eyes only grew darker. “If you hate me because I’m happy, then you’re just…” I shook my head. “You’re just completely fucking stupid.” “What?” “I’m not happy, Paxton.” I pointed my spatula at him, my voice wobbling as the words that I’d kept barricaded inside of me since the day my sister died barreled to the front. “I’m absolutely fucking miserable.” My hands were shaking, shaking, shaking. “Now, go wash your fucking hands.” Paxton did as he was told.

Becca was an asset. My sanity. My heart. My everything.

How do you say sorry to a person who you’ve wronged for no reason for years?

it felt…good, to be cared for.

Cute kid. I’d thought that more than once—which was shocking because the only kid I’d ever liked in my entire life was my own.

It was nice to see how far she’d come.

It wasn’t that I didn’t feel. I did. I just… Felt too much sometimes.

Who even was I anymore?

“Sometimes I can’t remember what it felt like to be a real person.”

He made me feel…well, like maybe it was okay to not be the largest presence in the room.

Paxton wasn’t who I thought he was. But, that wasn’t such a bad thing, actually. He was soft. Kind. Steady as the tide. Solid as a mountain. I…liked that.

Like a family. I was sure that’s what he’d almost said. But now I’d never know.

Mine, my heart promised. Mine.

“I’m worrying less about him now,” she murmured softly. “I’m glad he has a friend like you.”

She was… Mine. As she always had been.

“You’re perfect.”

“You’re my honey bee. He can find his own fucking hive.”

Becca was…well. If her father and I stayed the way we were then Becca was mine as much as Nathan was.

I set her back down only to realize I must’ve done something right because she wouldn’t let me go.

I wasn’t really…an affectionate person. At least—I hadn’t been. But apparently when it came to family I had no boundaries.

“Thank you for being there for him.”

He was sugar cookies, hot cocoa, and Christmas mornings. Sunbeams, summer days, and laughter.

My own fucking Christmas present. The one I’d been waiting for all my life.

He’d remembered. Jesus. It was a small thing. But the fact that he paid attention to me, that he was here—surprising me. Solid and sure. Reliable. Affectionate, considerate.

If I didn’t love him before I fell in love right then.

“Are these?” “Pajamas?” I hummed. “Yes. It’s tradition.” “Dad always gets us matching pajamas each year,” Becca explained with importance. “Nathan has some too, they’re under the tree.”

I love you, hung like a promise in the air. Maybe soon I’d have the courage to say it. Maybe.

I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been this happy. My heart soared.

So we’re adopting them then,” Nathan hummed a moment later with glee. “The Bakers?” I asked, my lips twisting into a smile. He nodded. “Yeah, bud.” I grinned. “We’re adopting them.”

“I’m a lover.”