Simon Sort of Says: (Newbery Honor Book)

by Erin Bow

My head spins. In the two whole days since 5/15, Project Fake Space Message has been the last thing on my mind. “Agate, I can’t think about that right now.” She puts the last of the duck eggs on the top of her scuffed-up white bucket—the Blue Bunny Ice Cream logo just barely shows through the dirt and scratches—and looks up at me with her round, open face. “Why not?” “Because—This was why I wanted to fly under the radar, get it? Because of Eagle Crest.” “But our message is a separate thing.” For her. For her, it’s separate. For me, it never has been. All the reasons I wanted to try it, all the reasons I was afraid to try it, they were all tangled up in keeping Eagle Crest secret. Now the secret is getting out, but they still seem tangled. Like a giant ball of string that’s rolling fast. “Simon?” “Agate, I just—can’t right now.” Kevin knows. Team Science—They know, too, or they’ll find out soon. So. I should just tell everybody. Get ahead of the story. (That’s what the media advisors and lawyers and publicists who called us and tried to sell us their services used to say: “Get ahead of the story.”) I should ask Miss Rose if I can stand up in front of the homeroom—or maybe even the whole school—and somehow make my mouth say words. When I think about doing that, my tongue gets stiff and my heart gets fast, until I can feel it like someone standing three inches behind me and tapping their fingers on the pulse point under my jaw. I can’t.