“A fun fact about ducks is that their penises are eight inches long.” I do an unwise thing and try to picture that. “No way.” “Yes way,” she says brightly. “They’re sort of…spring loaded.” I push my hands over my eyes, as if I could block out the mental image. “Ugh, I am so glad you didn’t tell that to Kevin.” She’d been about to, on our movie night. I can’t imagine how that would have gone. It would have been a heck of a first impression. Of course, Kevin’s first impression of me was the alpaca story, which was also pretty weird. Oh man. Kevin googled alpacas.
