Faking Under the Mistletoe

by Ashley Shepherd

“They’re asking harmless questions. I haven’t had to divert any topics. The store manager says the curfew is eight, so it won’t go much longer.” “That’s an hour away,” she huffs into her phone. “Kathy, I’ll have to call you back… I know… It’s ridiculous. I’m arguing with some airhead of an intern.”

I would start airing out the whole store

“What was I supposed to do? You were standing there pining over her!” “I was not pining. I was telepathically trying to break her leg.”

Him saying olivia escaped from a mental assylum was just projection Clearly

“Are you another one of Uncle Asher’s special friends?” Chloe asks me. “Special friend?” I look at Chloe and then to Asher, who seems seconds away from an aneurysm.

LMMMFAAOOO

“You still have a family. Whether you like them or not.” “What are you? Some kind of orphan?” He glowers at me.

This guy is tweakkinnn

And I belong on the Sleepiest Girl Ever List.

Me too girl

“Is that still Asher?” Bree asks, glancing at my phone. She scowls. “Why are you smiling?” “Delirium is setting in,” I say.

LMMMFFAAOOOO

This is my drunken version of a romantic comedy. Deacon is running through traffic. Arms flailing in the winter wind, trying to grab my attention. We’re star-crossed lovers the world is trying to keep apart. But we keep fighting it. And he hands me his heart in the form of a greasy slice on a white paper plate. I’m in love.

When he runs through traffic for u

“You really went heavy on the onions on that burger,” Asher says. I frown. “I brushed my teeth three times!” “You should have brushed harder.”

Asher has never heard the word Decorum in his entire 26 years of living

“Why did you open a two hundred dollar bottle of wine?” “Because you said you didn’t like beer?”

“You’re a mess,” he laughs and swipes his thumb over my lower lip, collecting a glob of strawberry jam that never made it into my mouth. He licks his finger clean.

“Goodnight.” I don’t say it back. Mostly because I’m in shock when his arm snakes around my waist and he pulls me against him.

i also hate men who give mixed signals but i also kind of love asher... Maybe im giving mixed signals now

“Stop pretending you don’t love this.” “I don’t.” The circles he’s tracing over my back say otherwise.

And when he touched me—when he touched me my entire body sang. I melted into him. I wanted to drown in the feeling of his body pressed against mine. In his bed. Between the sheets. Every sleepy sigh and pull me closer.

“Olivia?” Asher’s voice is muffled by his pillows and sheets. “Yeah?” “I think I’m in love with you.”

“Couldn’t just leave you on that stoop. Who knows how many more lemon loaves you would have ordered.” “What?” Okay, so he remembers some of last night. “There’s a Starbucks in Utah that you should probably avoid.”

“Olivia,” he says, forcing my eyes to meet his. “I shouldn’t have said it.” “Right.” I swallow and look away. “You were drunk. You didn’t know what you were saying. You don’t have to apologize.” “I shouldn’t have said it when I was drunk.”

AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

Bree and Asher. Kissing. The plate shatters at my feet. There’s Nutella on my shoe. And Asher is raw-lipped when he pushes Bree away.

MY JAW IS ON THE FLOOORRR

She is the only person I will suffer through twelve alarm clocks for. The only person I will willingly kiss under a mistletoe. The only person I will close down a karaoke bar with. The only person I will order an untoasted bagel for. The only person I will see Six the Musical with twenty times (and still counting). She is the only person I want to spend the rest of my life with.