Faking Under the Mistletoe
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Read between December 13 - December 29, 2022
1%
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’Twas the night before Thanksgiving when all through the office, not a person was stirring, not even Alba from Human Resources trying to get in the last of her ten thousand steps.
5%
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I knew this wasn’t going to be easy and I’m prepared to lose sleep in order to achieve my goals.
Scooter Nagy
If I met this girl in real life I’m confident I would count that on my list of most traumatic events
8%
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“Can I get a glass of your cheapest red wine?” “It’s an open bar…” “I don’t like to live above my means.”
8%
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“By creating some elaborate scheme about how we’re dating? As if I would ever date someone who I’m fairly certain has escaped a mental facility.”
Scooter Nagy
If I have to read on more sentences of this novel I’m going to check myself into a mental facility
9%
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They were delicious. I can already feel them on my hips. And trust me, my hips have already suffered the consequences of a dozen gingerbread cookies and a container of peppermint bark.
Scooter Nagy
Using these kind of insults when your novel is targeted towards young females is disgusting, stop normalizing this in media.
10%
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That I’ve kissed.
Scooter Nagy
I don’t believe this author has ever been kissed
11%
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“Besides, you’re already ruining your workout with a bowl of sugar. You don’t need more carbs.”
Scooter Nagy
Using these kind of insults when your novel is targeted towards young females is disgusting, stop normalizing this in media.
11%
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“Because I’m an emotional eater and your lack of Christmas cheer is making me very sad.”
Scooter Nagy
I can’t stand this
13%
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"I mean, it's already on my Snap, so..." Bree says. She also put me vomiting into trashcan after too much to drink on her Snapchat. Bree is a great friend.
Scooter Nagy
This sentence had me vomiting in the trash can
13%
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"So just Christmas trees, coasters, and PornHub Unlimited?"
Scooter Nagy
“Christmas shopping for a man” who really needs gender equality, not this author…
14%
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“When aren’t you in a state of distress? You almost started crying this afternoon when you couldn’t find staples.”
Scooter Nagy
35 pages in and she has mentioned filling the stapler THREE TIMES
14%
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“Do you have very specific tastes in decorative pillows?” “Just that you specifically don’t buy them.” I’m sure he’ll change his mind when they’re delivered on Tuesday.
Scooter Nagy
Your internship would be terminated if you order decorative pillows to your bosses house with his credit card
15%
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You can follow Bree’s Snapchat if you’re interested in the visual recap.”
Scooter Nagy
Have never seen a picture of this author and I can confidently say she is a 32 year old white woman
17%
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It’s Asher, who conveniently had to miss tonight’s festivities because his favorite episode of Friends was on.
Scooter Nagy
You’re telling me the moody, grumpy, hates everything guy you’ve been trying to portray watches friends
22%
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the only reason they should be requesting me is because they saw one of my legendary karaoke performances on my Instastories.
Scooter Nagy
I had to take a break here
26%
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Tonight, I decide, can’t get much worse.
Scooter Nagy
litterly nothing bad has happened
27%
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“Have you seen my boobs in this shirt?”
Scooter Nagy
are you joking
28%
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So I sit and wonder what life would have been like if I hadn’t been dealt such a shitty hand.
Scooter Nagy
girl… you can’t be fr