“Here.” He tosses a bagel at me, which would have been a sweet gesture if he didn’t, y’know, throw it at me. “I certainly hope this is bacon, egg, and cheese on an untoasted everything.” It is a bacon, egg, and cheese on an untoasted everything. “How did you know?” I ask. “There are always two bagels in the bag,” he says. “I assume the other atrocity is yours.” “I’m offended.” “Your untoasted bagel is what’s offensive.”
