Faking Under the Mistletoe
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Read between February 1 - February 1, 2021
8%
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“By creating some elaborate scheme about how we’re dating? As if I would ever date someone who I’m fairly certain has escaped a mental facility.”
11%
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“Are you the carbohydrate police?” “Of course not,” I say. “I had three donuts before I got here.” “Then why are you eating my bagel?” “Because I’m an emotional eater and your lack of Christmas cheer is making me very sad.”
14%
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“Do you have very specific tastes in decorative pillows?” “Just that you specifically don’t buy them.” I’m sure he’ll change his mind when they’re delivered on Tuesday.
15%
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“It’s hardly unethical for two consenting adults to be involved.” “I don’t recall consenting to being involved with you.” “I don’t recall consenting to being your personal bagel delivery girl and yet, here we are.”
40%
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I think he caught The Feelings too. They’re very contagious. Sort of like the plague, but with less death and more boob touching.
C and 9 other people liked this
Laura-Anne Wright
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Laura-Anne Wright
🤣 I like that lol
43%
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“When do I get accused of murdering you? Because I won’t even try to deny it. I’ll walk into the courtroom and say you’re welcome.”
61%
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Men have been disappointing women for centuries. And if I’m going to throw myself in front of a train, it’s not going to be because of a man. It’ll be because the government found my blog about the extraterrestrials.
71%
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“Olivia?” Asher’s voice is muffled by his pillows and sheets. “Yeah?” “I think I’m in love with you.”
90%
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That’s what death does to you—it eats you alive until you’re a hollow shell of a human who lives in a limbo of grief and guilt and denial.
Ju and 8 other people liked this
Christy Hall
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Christy Hall
This quote hit me hard when I saw it on my feed. I’ve suffered a couple of losses recently.