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Lauren would love it. I've seen the way she shudders in joy when she has to talk to my kids." He grinned. "The few times I've brought the kids to office parties, I offer them money to just stand near her and stare."
Before he could reach them, both Mom and Birdie grinned at each other and shook their bodies out like a couple of dogs, all to the soundtrack of Gabe shouting. Birdie cackled ominously while Mom winked at her and came over to sit next to me on the couch, despite Gabe’s protests. “And that’s how you get revenge for someone leaving an open yogurt container in your car in the middle of the summer.” Mom would never let that go. Gabe gasped. “I hadn’t even hit puberty yet!”
“You got laid?” I choked and slapped my chest as I struggled to breathe. Turning narrowed eyes to my mother and my best friend, I studied them to see which one had been loose-lipped, but both of them looked guilty. “Mom, it’s not a big deal. I’m seven. I know things. I’ll probably get laid in a few years, too.” Birdie rolled her eyes and strolled into the kitchen to get herself a juice. When she came back to a still-stunned room, she sighed. “I can get laid, too, Mom. I saw it on a movie. I’m going to fly on a plane and then get laid when I get off.” Gabe gasped and then cleared his throat.
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My heart hammered in my chest, and I instantly started imagining the worst. “I’m dying, aren’t I?” Dr. Sam laughed easily and shook her head. “No, you’re not dying. You’re not sick at all.” I frowned. “You might have to work on your ‘everything is fine’ face.”
Jack frowned up at Birdie. “There’s another kid. Why is there another kid? They’re multiplying.”
She looked down at her feet and then nodded. “Birdie. Can you please not make anyone cry while I talk to Olive’s dad?” Birdie shrugged. “Grandma says I’m not in charge of other people’s feelings.”
