Magnolia Parks (Magnolia Parks Universe #1)

by Jessa Hastings

You’re wondering—I know you are, everyone does—why we aren’t together? Infidelity aside, you think he’s perfect. That we’re perfect, and that nothing in this world past, present or future could be big enough or bad enough to justify us not being together. I get it, I’ve been there. I’ve thought that too. There were these couple of months after everything that had happened with Christian where Beej and I began to drift back towards what we used to be. It wasn’t intentional or conscious. It was just easier to be with him than not to be, and maybe that’s not a good thing—I don’t know anymore. I can’t objectively tell with us. With anything to do with him, my heart’s logic is as blurry as the lines we pretend we don’t cross. I was still broken, and I was still sad, and I still didn’t trust him how I used to trust him, but I think at one point, I loved him more than he hurt me, and it sort of began to feel stupid to me to love someone how I loved him and to throw it all away because he had sex with someone else one time. I’m not belittling that, by the way. Or making excuses. It makes me feel sick to say it even now. It’s not that it didn’t matter. I think it’s just that how much I love him mattered more.