Meet Me in the Blue (Hemlock Harbor, #1)

by A.M. Johnson

Loving Rook was effortless for me. Effortless because I’d always known.

It wasn’t a maybe kind of thing, or a let’s try, it was years of hopeful smiles and subtle touches, disseminating each one and wondering if this time… just maybe… It was hours of talking in the dark shade of trees and knowing that this person, this one man, owned all of my secrets. All but one.

“You left. You made mistakes. But you love him, and you’re here now.

You aren’t guaranteed anything, Luka. Tomorrow you could walk out that door and get hit by a bus.”

“Well… Macabre as that may be, it’s reality. Don’t you think you’ve thrown away enough years?

You don’t get to say you’re not worth it. That’s up to him, and I have a feeling he t...

“I don’t want you to try, Rook. I need you to know… Like I’ve known since that first day when you held my hand in the woods. I was yours then, and I’m yours now.”

“Do you really want this?” he asked. “Do you want me?” I’m yours now. “Yes.” “Yes?”

“I want you.” More tears spilled over his lashes, and he was all salt and breath as I kissed his top lip. “I didn’t know… but I always have.”

Luka and I were like two rivers, raging toward the same open sea, and there wasn’t a thing in this world, not death or distance or time, or even ...

He was the first boy I’d ever wanted, the first man I’d ever loved, and I never thought I’d get to have him like this, never thought I’d be the one to unravel him.

Our bodies aligned, clicked into place, my hips fitting into his, his hands fitting my cheek, our mouths moving in sync, like a dance we’d somehow already known.

“I’ve never loved anyone the way I love that man. He’s been my everything. My whole life is wrapped up in him.

He knows me. Every moment I’ve breathed has belonged to him, to us, in some way or another. I messed up. I tried to cut him out of my life, but it was like cutting out half of my heart.

I love him. And I appreciate you protecting him, but you don’t have to an...

“But you’d tell me, right? If you didn’t like something I did. I don’t ever want you to feel pressured…”

Here I was worried about him accepting my and Luka’s relationship, and he was just happy to see me at all.

“I love him, too. This is… it was confusing for a long time.”

“If you’re gay then you’re gay… If you’re straight, bi… whatever. You’re my brother and I love you, alright. Who you’re attracted to has nothing to do with that.”

“Luka makes me feel safe… and that’s what does it for me.”

“I want that too. To be with someone who isn’t after me for my job or status.”

I kissed our secret message inked into the skin of his shoulder, traced the line of his tattoo with the tip of my tongue. I craved every goose bump I tasted, every etched muscle under his pale skin.

“I trust you.” “I love you.”

This was Luka. I took a breath between kisses. I trusted this. I trusted him.

“Can you kiss me again?”

Please, tell me how, how to let go, how to give in.

It hasn’t ever worked like that for me. It was sort of liberating. I can admit, at times, I worry I won’t be enough for you, but then I remember it’s you.

“Do you have a preference?” he asked. “When it comes to sex?” “I prefer to only have it with you.”

“I love being with you, in any way, if you prefer to bottom, or top, or neither, it doesn’t matter to me.”

“Only you, Luka… that’s all I want.”

“We can do this. We can make it work, as long as we do it together.”

His breath was mine, and as he breathed me in, we silently agreed to new beginnings, to new roots, and to the rest of our lives.

“I don’t want to get lost in a big city and forget who we are. It doesn’t feel right, leaving all this behind. And the more I open my eyes, the more I see how much I love this place as much as I love you.

“I want to marry you, Rook. Tell me yes… tell me you want that too. To get married here, in our spot… Meet me there, in the blue, one last time?”

“Yes,” he said without hesitation and ghosted a kiss across my lips as he whispered, “I will always meet you there.”