Off the Mark

by Kathryn Nolan

“As it turns out, I don’t know shit about being a boyfriend. Never been one before. But I think a good boyfriend would patch you up.” He paused. “Right?”

The way holding him as he cried gave me a feeling I’d never experienced before—a fierce protectiveness that made me want to commit acts of violence against every single person who’d ever wronged him, even slightly.

If he’d asked me to tear the world in half to ease his agony, I would have eagerly said yes.

“This whole ‘being a human’ thing keeps getting complicated,” I said with a wry smile. “It super sucks.”

“What would you do right now if this wasn’t fake?” she whispered.

I watched them go with a lump in my throat. Not because of the lying thing. Because of the way my heart had reacted to your Charlie.

“Every single time I walked into that bar, it was because of you. Every night I stayed late, it was because I wanted you. You were all that I cared about, and I thought I’d moved past it. Except then you showed up again, and it was like nothing had changed for me.”

“I never had to pretend to worship you, Charlie, I always have—”

I snapped the frayed leash of my respectful restraint and buried my face against her throat, inhaling her scent like a goddamn wild animal.

Use me. For the love of god, I’m here every fucking night for a reason. Isn’t it obvious?

“All those years of squats have led me here. To this moment.” He pulled a mock-serious expression. “The bad girl of motocross, sinking her teeth into my butt. What a time to be alive.”

I managed to squeak out, “For me?” “It’s always been for you, Charlie.” And there I was, sunflowers in hand. Glowing.

“The lesson here is that when you’re confronted with two choices and one is working with a stodgy corporation and the other is a team of fearless, bloodthirsty women…” “Go with the fearless, bloodthirsty women every single time,” I replied.

You cried with me that night, and I would have broken the world apart with my bare hands to make you hurt less.”