Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1)

by Rebecca Yarros

“You’re going to have to walk through the pain, and we have to do it fast.” He grabs a boot, then taps my foot. “Can you lift it up?” I nod, lifting my foot. Then he robs me of every logical thought by putting on my boots and lacing them one at a time.

“I call you to answer for your crime against Cadet Sorrengail.” Xaden’s focus shifts to the center of the formation. “Wingleader Amber Mavis.” The quadrant draws a collective breath before an uproar rips through the crowd. “What the hell?” Dain bites out. My chest tightens. Gods, I hate it when Dain proves me right. Rhiannon reaches for my hand, squeezing tight in support as every rider in the courtyard’s attention pivots between Xaden, Amber…and me.

“Shit’s about to get real,” Sawyer says, breaking formation to stand at my side, and I feel Ridoc at my back.

He isn’t demanding proof like Dain. He believes me, and he’s ready to execute a wingleader on nothing more than my word. As surely as if they’re a physical structure, I feel my defenses crack on Xaden’s behalf. “Can you see my memories?” I ask Tairn. “Share them?” “Yes.” His head snakes left and right ever so slightly. “A memory has never been shared outside of a mating bond. It’s considered a violation.” “Xaden’s up there fighting because I told him it was her. Help him.” And gods, I admire him for it.

I turn to Xaden and beg again, my voice breaking by the end. “Please give her a chance.” He holds my gaze but doesn’t so much as show a flicker of emotion. “I let someone live once, and he almost killed you last night, Silver One,” Tairn says.

“This really isn’t necessary.” I glance sideways at Liam as we make our way toward the door of the Archives. The cart doesn’t even squeak anymore. He fixed that the very first day. “So you’ve told me for the last week.” He shoots me a grin, revealing a dimple. “And yet you’re still here. Every day. All day.” It’s not that I don’t like him. To my absolute annoyance, he’s actually…nice. Courteous, funny, and ridiculously helpful.

“How do you do that?” I ask Liam in a hushed whisper. “Handle when people are that rude without reacting?” “You’re rude to me all the time,” he teases, drumming his fingers on the handle of the cart.

“You actually know him, don’t you?” I crane my neck to look up at him. “He didn’t just pick you to shadow me because you’re the best in our year.” “Just now catching on, huh?” A grin flashes across his face. “I would have told you that on the first day if you hadn’t been so busy huffing and puffing about the pleasure of my company.”

“I’ve seen you practicing this week with those blades of yours, Sorrengail. Riorson was right. You would have been wasted as a scribe.” My chest swells with more than a little pride.

“So Tairn hasn’t channeled to you, either, right?” Liam asks, a look of uncertainty, vulnerability on his face. I shake my head. “I think he has commitment issues,” I whisper. “I heard that.” “Then stay out of my head.” Another wave of paralyzing hunger assaults me, and I nearly crush Markham’s scroll in my hand. “Don’t be an ass.” I swear I hear him chuff a chuckle in response.

“Riorson just got here,” Liam says from the seat to my right, breaking from the little dragon figurine he’s carving and looking up the rows toward the third-years. “Figured.” I hold up my middle finger and keep my eyes forward. Not that I don’t like Liam, but I’m still pissed at Xaden for assigning him. Liam snorts and grins, flashing his dimple. “And now he’s glaring. Tell me, is it fun pissing off the most powerful rider in the quadrant?”

“They’re just threats. The only time I’ve actually been targeted was at night, and it’s not like Liam here is sleeping in my bedroom.” “I mean, I’m not opposed—” he begins, his knife hovering over the piece of wood. “Don’t even start.” I whip my head to face him and can’t help but laugh. “You are a shameless flirt.” “Thank you.” He grins and goes back to carving. “It wasn’t a compliment.” “Don’t mind her, she’s just sexually frustrated. Makes a girl crabby.”

“I mean, you could watch,” Rhiannon continues, blinking innocently at him. “Just to be sure she’s fully covered. You know, so no one…sticks it to her.” “Oh, are we telling dick jokes now?” Ridoc asks from Liam’s side. “Because my entire life has led up to this very moment.” Even Sawyer laughs.

Then again, most everyone in this room can stay on their dragon. “So can you.” “Don’t you have better things to do with your day than listen in on my self-loathing?” “Not particularly. Now pay attention.” “Stop butting in and maybe I can,” I counter. Tairn chuffs.

“You would be furious if someone took your freedom away. If you had Liam at your door every morning until every night, even as seemingly great as he is.” I dodge one of her attacks. “I appreciate that,” Liam butts in, proving my point.

I manage one breath, then two as Jack’s gaze rises from me to someone standing behind me. That look on his face, half envy, half shitting himself, means it has to be Xaden. “She’s only alive because of you,” Jack spits, but the blood drains from his face. “Right, because I’m the one who buried a dagger in your shoulder at Threshing.”

“You ran,” I snarl, wishing I could lunge forward and beat the shit out of him, but forcing my feet to stay planted where they are. “That day in the field, you fucking ran when it was three on one, and we both know when it comes down to it, you’ll run again. That’s what cowards do.” Jack flushes, his eyes nearly bugging out of his face. “Oh, for fuck’s sake, Violet,” Dain mutters. “She’s not wrong,” Xaden drawls. Garrick laughs, and Liam muscles Jack off the mat when he leaps at me. Jack’s boots squeak against the hardwood floor as he unsuccessfully fights to hold his ground, and Liam forces him from the gym. With a flick of his hand, Xaden shuts the huge doors with his power, locking Jack out.

“Or were you unaware that I’m still not channeling?” I want to throttle him, to shake some ever-loving sense into that beautiful head of his. He leans in so we’re almost nose to nose. “I am annoyingly aware of everything you do.”

“You choose the oddest times to defend her, Aetos.” Xaden all but rolls his eyes as he looks at Dain. “And the most convenient times not to.”

“You held your own and controlled your temper,” Tairn says, an immense swell of pride flooding my chest. “She’s ready,” Andarna adds with a giddy jolt of joy that makes me instantly light-headed. “She’s ready,” he agrees.

“I feel like I’m on fucking fire.” That’s putting it mildly. “Yeah. That happens.” His laugh holds a wicked edge, and I make the utterly unforgivable mistake of turning to see his smile. Xaden, while brooding and bossy, dangerous and lethal, is a toe-curling sight that makes my pulse quicken. But Xaden laughing, his head thrown back with a smile curving his mouth, is drop-dead beautiful.

He stares at me with disbelief. “You know what? We’re not fighting tonight. Not if you want to learn how to shield.” “Fine. We’re not fighting. Teach me.” I tilt my chin. Gods, I barely reach his collarbone. “Ask me nicely.” He leans closer. “Have you always been this tall?” I blurt the first thing that comes to mind. “No. I was a child at some point.” I roll my eyes.

“Right then. All right. Will you teach me to shield?” A smile curves his mouth, and my gaze drops to his lips. “Say please.” “Are you always this difficult?” “Only when I know I have something you need. What can I say, I like making you squirm. It’s like a sweet little slice of payback for what you’ve put me through these last couple of months.” He brushes the snow off my hair. “What I’ve put you through?” Unbelievable. “You’ve scared me nearly to death once or twice, so I think saying please is a fair request.”

Xaden?” I smile sweetly up at him and inch a little closer. “Would you pretty, pretty please teach me how to shield before I accidentally climb you like a tree and we both wake up with regrets?”

He adjusts his stance and brings both his hands up to my cheeks, cradling my face before sliding them back to hold my head. “Close your eyes.” “It requires touching me?” My eyes flutter shut at the sensation of his skin against mine. “Not at all. Just one of the perks of not thinking too clearly. You have incredibly touchable skin.”

“Open your eyes, but do your best to keep that door locked. It means keeping one foot grounded. Don’t be surprised if it slips. We’ll just start again.” I open my eyes, keeping that mental picture of the shut Archives door, and while my body is still heated and flushed with warmth, that inescapable, driving need is blessedly…somewhat muted. “He’s…” I can’t find the right words. Xaden studies me with an intensity that makes me sway toward him. “You are astonishing.” He shakes his head. “I couldn’t do that for weeks.”

“We’ll both regret it.” He shakes his head, but there’s more than hunger in his eyes as he stares at my lips. “Naturally,” I whisper. But knowing I’ll regret it doesn’t stop me from wanting it—wanting him. Regretting is a problem for future Violet. “Fuck it.”

I surrender completely, melting into him, my body going pliant against his and losing that mental foothold he calls grounding. A flash of light burns behind my closed eyes, followed by the boom of thunder.

“He’s the most powerful rider of our generation. He’s going to be needed on the front, not here.” “For now.” Rhiannon stares at me with intention, lifting her brows. “He’s the most powerful rider in our generation for now.”

“I finished this for you,” Liam says, handing me a figurine as we climb the wide spiral staircase to the third floor. It’s Tairn. He’s even mastered his snarl. “This is…incredible. Thank you.” “Thanks.” Liam gives me a grin, flashing his dimple. “I wanted to carve Andarna first, but I’m not around her as much, you know?”

The worst part is that I knew you wouldn’t believe me. It’s why I almost didn’t tell Xaden who it was, because I was sure he wouldn’t believe me, either.” “But he did.” Dain’s voice drops, and his jaw ticks. “And he was the one who killed them in your bedroom.”

“When you told me that this place strips everything away from you to reveal what’s underneath, I was afraid. What if underneath the brittle bones and frail ligaments, there was just more weakness? Only this time, I wouldn’t be able to blame my body.” “You’ve never been weak to me, Vi—” Dain starts, but I shake my head. “Don’t you get it?” I interrupt. “It doesn’t matter what you think—it only matters what I think. And you were right. But the Riders Quadrant stripped away the fear and even the anger about being thrown into this quadrant, and it revealed who I really am. At my core, Dain, I’m a rider. Tairn knew it. Andarna knew it. It’s why they chose me. And until you can stop looking for ways to keep me in a glass cage, we aren’t going to get past this, no matter how many years of friendship we have between us.”

“Don’t stress,” Rhiannon says as we take our seats on the padded floor. “That’s what I was trying to remind you of earlier. You are Tairn’s rider.” “What do you mean?” I set my satchel down next to me. “You’re all worried about the integrity of the wing because Riorson might have to visit to keep his dragon happy but, Violet, he’s not the most powerful rider of our generation. You are.”

“He’s going to kill me.” That’s all I can think as I dress for the morning, sheathing all of my daggers in the most advantageous places. “He’s going to try.” Tairn is up early. “Any advice?” I know Liam is waiting for us to make the library run before breakfast. “Don’t let him.” I scoff.

“No fucking way,” Ridoc mutters, shaking his head. “Finally!” Jack throws his hands in the air like he’s already won. “Let’s do this.” I roll my shoulders and head for the mat. Neither Liam nor Ridoc is called to the mat today, so they walk at my sides. “Tell me I can break the promise,” Liam begs, and the pleading look in his eyes tells me exactly what a shitty position I’ve put him in. “The third-years are off doing third-year things,” I tell him as my toes touch the mat. “You can’t get him here in time, but I know what it means to you to keep your word. Especially with him. Go ahead.” He looks from me to Ridoc. “Guard her like you’re me.” “You mean like I’m six inches taller and built like a bull?” Ridoc gives him a thumbs-up. “Sure. I’ll do my best. In the meantime, you’d better run.” Liam’s gaze finds mine. “Stay alive.” “Working on it, and not just for my sake.” I give him a smile. “Thanks for being a great shadow.” His eyes widen a split second before he sprints out of the gym.

“Bet you wish you could throw that blade, don’t you?” he taunts, knowing I won’t break a rule when it can hurt someone in the matches going on around us. “Bet you wish you didn’t know what it feels like to dig out one of my knives, don’t you?” I retort.

His eyes fly impossibly wide, and he drops his hands, clutching his own neck as his airway closes. My knees give way, my body still shuddering as I hit the mat, but so does Jack, heaving and clawing at his neck as his face turns purple. Ridoc’s face is in mine within seconds. “Breathe, Sorrengail. Just breathe.” “What the hell is wrong with him?” someone asks as Jack writhes. “Oranges,” I whisper to Ridoc as my body finally gives out. “He’s allergic to oranges.” I fall into nothingness. When I wake, I’m not on the mat, and I can tell by the windows of the Healer Quadrant infirmary that night has fallen. I’ve been out for hours. And that’s not Ridoc lounged in the chair next to my bed, glaring at me like he’d like to kill me himself. It’s Xaden. His hair is tousled, like he’s been tugging at it, and he’s flipping a dagger end over end, catching it by the tip without so much as looking at it before sheathing it at his side. “Oranges?”

“Apparently I can’t trust Liam to report deadly situations or Rhiannon to train you on the mat, seeing how easily Barlowe had you pinned, so as of this moment, I’m taking over.” “Taking over what?” My eyes narrow. “Everything when it comes to you.”

You need weaponry designed for your body type.” At least he didn’t say weaknesses. I study the blade in his hand. It’s beautiful, with a solid black hilt engraved with Tyrrish knots, old, mythical runes of intricate swirls and ties. The blade itself is clearly honed to lethal perfection. “It’s spectacular.” “It’s yours.” My head snaps up, but there’s no lie in his onyx eyes. “I had it made for you.” His lips curve slightly.

He sighs and takes up a fighting stance. “Now, earn your nickname and try your best to kill me.”

“You’re going to tell me I’ve lost my mind, but if we pull it off, we’ll win for sure.” I might not be enough like my mother to win her approval, but I know where she keeps the most valuable information. “And?” “We’re going to break into my mother’s office.”

“Put him in here,” I hiss, forcing open the next door, the one that belongs to one of my mother’s undersecretaries. Liam and Ridoc haul the guard in, and I put my fingers to his neck. “Good strong pulse. He just knocked him out. Open his mouth.” I snag the vial hidden in the pocket of my leathers, uncork it, and then let the tonic flow into the guard’s mouth. “He’ll sleep the rest of the night.” Liam’s wide eyes meet mine. “You’re kind of terrifying.” “Thank you.” I grin, and we get out of there, running as fast as we can.

I stand back next to Imogen and search the leadership for a certain pair of onyx eyes. There he is. Xaden is leaning against the wall near the other wingleaders, watching me with a pulse-quickening mix of curiosity and expectation. “It was your idea,” Imogen whispers, nudging me forward. “Present.” Markham’s eyes flare wide as saucers as he forces himself to stand, followed quickly by Devera, whose mouth hangs so wide, it’s almost comical. I clear my throat and gesture to the map. “We have brought the ultimate weapon for our enemies. An up-to-date map of all current outposts of Navarrian wings, to include troop strength of infantry battlements.” I point to the forts along the Cygnisen border. “As well as the locations of all current skirmishes in the last thirty days. Including last night.” A murmur rips through the quadrant. “And how do we know this map is, in fact, current?” Kaori asks, holding his reclaimed journal under one arm. There’s no stopping the smile that spreads across my face. “Because we stole it from General Sorrengail’s office.” Absolute mayhem breaks out, some of the riders rushing the stage as professors battle their way toward us, but I ignore it all as Xaden tilts one corner of that beautiful mouth and tips an imaginary hat to me, bowing his head for a heartbeat before bringing his gaze back to hold mine.

“Mira.” I bury my face against her shoulder, and my eyes burn as she rests her hand on top of the very braid she taught me how to do. It’s as if the weight of everything that’s happened over the last nine months comes crashing down, slamming into me with the force of a cross-bolt. The wind of the parapet. The look in Xaden’s eyes when he realized I was a Sorrengail. The sound of Jack swearing he’d kill me. The smell of burning flesh that first day. The look on Aurelie’s face when she fell from the Gauntlet. Pryor and Luca and Trina and…Tynan. Oren and Amber Mavis. Tairn and Andarna choosing me. Xaden kissing me. Our mother ignoring me. Mira pulls me back just long enough to look me over, as if she’s checking for damage. “You’re all right.” She nods, her teeth digging into her bottom lip. “You’re all right, aren’t you?” I nod, but she blurs in my vision because I might be alive, thriving even, but I’m not the same person she left at the base of that turret, and from the heaviness in her eyes, she knows it, too. “Yeah,” she whispers, tucking me in tight again. “You’re all right, Violet. You’re all right.” If she says it enough times, I might start to believe her. “Are you?” I jerk back to study her. There’s a new scar that stretches from her earlobe to her collarbone. “Gods, Mira.” “I’m fine,” she promises, then grins. “And look at you! You didn’t die!” Irrational, giddy laughter bubbles up. “I didn’t die! You’re not an only child!” We both burst into laughter, and tears tra...

“Have you been stationed with any riders of mated pairs?” I ask Mira as I close the door behind us. “One,” she answers, her eyes narrowing on the darkened path in front of the house. “Why?” “I’m just wondering how long they can be separated.” “Turns out, about three days is their max.” Xaden steps out of the shadows.

“How many of you have been called out as third-years?” Mira stands straight, folding her arms over her black leathers and the strap that holds her sword to her back. Emery and Xaden raise their hands, though Xaden’s is barely a gesture. Dain looks like his head is about to explode. “That’s not correct. We’re never called into service until graduation.” Xaden presses his lips in a tight line and nods, giving him a sarcastic thumbs-up.

“Then I’m in command.” Dain sits up straight, his chin rising a good inch. “Our wingleader is here,” Liam argues, pointing at Xaden. “I would say that puts him in command.” “We can pretend I’m not here, just for the sake of the exercise.” Xaden sets his dragon on the table and leans back in his chair, draping his arm across the back of mine, a move that makes Dain grit his teeth. “Give Aetos here the position we all know he craves.” “Don’t be a dick,” I whisper. “You haven’t even seen me start to be a dick.” My head turns so fast that it swims, and my mouth drops open as I stare at the side of Xaden’s face. That was his voice…in my fucking head. He turns, the golden flecks in his eyes catching the light, and I swear I hear him laughing in my mind, though his lips are closed, tilted in that pulse-quickening smirk of his. “You’re staring. It’s going to get awkward in about thirty seconds if you don’t stop.” “How?” I hiss. “The same way you talk to Sgaeyl. We’re all gloriously, annoyingly linked. This is just one of the perks. Though I’m starting to wish I’d tried it sooner. The look on your face is priceless.” He winks and turns back to the table. He. Fucking. Winked.

“Why are you even here?” Dain challenges. “No offense, sir, but we weren’t exactly expecting senior leadership on this trip.” “You’re more than aware that Sgaeyl and Tairn are mated.” “Three days?” Dain fires back, leaning in. “You couldn’t make it three days?” “It has nothing to do with him,” I interrupt, setting my dragon down with a little more force than necessary. “That’s up to Tairn and Sgaeyl.” “You never considered that it was you I couldn’t stay away from?” I crook my right arm and jab it into Xaden’s biceps. He doesn’t mean that. Not when he’s still adamant that kissing me was a mistake. And if he does… I’m not going there. “Now, now, you’ll give our little communication secret away if you can’t keep from being so…violent.” He barely restrains a smile, obviously loving that he gets the last word.

“What’s your signet, Aetos?” Quinn asks. “Above your pay grade,” Dain answers, glancing around the table and skipping over Xaden, then making the rounds again, finally sighing. “Any ideas?” Is the quadrant really making Dain keep the memory reading secret? Had him reaching for my head the day Amber burned been a loss of control? How has he gotten this far without telling anyone what his signet is? I shake my head. “Sure.” I pick up Xaden’s dragon and shove it toward the keep, planting one mental foot in the Archives where I keep my power and using it to lift the dragon figurine into a hover above the structure. “You stop ignoring that you have an incredibly powerful shadow wielder at your disposal and ask him to black out the area so no one sees you land.” “She’s not wrong,” Mira agrees, but her words are clipped. “You can do that?” Dain begrudgingly looks at Xaden. “Are you seriously asking?” Xaden retorts. “Just wasn’t sure you could cover an area that—” Xaden lifts a hand a few inches above the table, and shadows pour from underneath our seats, filling the room and turning it dark as midnight in a blink. My heart jumps as my sight goes black. “Relax. It’s just me.” A ghost of a touch skims my cheek.

“I hope you didn’t get any ideas while we were in the dark there,” Xaden teases, and just like that, my sympathy for the ass evaporates. I don’t bother to face him, just raise one finger. He chuckles, and I grit my teeth. “Get him out of my head,” I toss in Tairn’s direction. “You’ll get used to it,” Tairn responds. “Is this normal with all mated pairs and their riders?” “For some. It’s a great advantage in a battle.” “Well, it’s a pain in my ass right now.” I miss Andarna. We’re so far apart that I can barely feel her. “Then shield him out the same way you do me—or start talking back,” Tairn grumbles. “You have the power to be a pain in the ass, too. Trust me.”